Michelle Obama: Health Care is a Women's Issue
World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ and Big Expert on Health Care Michelle Obama has taken to the stump to promote health care reform as a woman's issue. As with everything else she does, her actions speak louder than her words. Here she is demonstrating her personal health care routine to a group of young schoolgirls.
History was made last night.
World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ Michelle Obama became the first first lady in history to curse on television.
No - couldn't be! A classy dame like her? No way. Let's ask Michelle Obama's Chin:
Today's Question: You said what?
Michelle Obama's Chin replies:
Even Hillary knew better than that.
Without question, the most touching moment in last night's address was when the leader of the free (ride) world quoted a touching letter from deceased lion, Ted Kennedy:
Take one part maternity top, one part big top circus tent and add pleats, pleats, pleats. And don't forget the bow!
World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ Michelle Obama, shows America her particular brand of personal style by accentuating her least flattering body parts: her awesome abdomen, her badonkulous butt and her thunder thighs.
Can I ask again who is dressing this woman? Granted, she's been packing on the pounds over the course of the summer but surely there was something just a bit more flattering hanging in the closet.
UPDATE: You know, I follow a lot of MOO fanblogs-they have the best pictures. Predictably, they stay true to form and are very complimentary to this ensemble. Keep this picture in mind as I repeat parts of comments made at one of them:
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There's a lot of speculation right now about who will fill Ted Kennedy's Senate seat until the special election in January '10. Most of the money rides on the WEED-oh. Someone from another country answered me just that way when I asked about marital status. It has never left me. Is it not so much more musical than WID-oh?
I'm not so sure. I think there are several women who would be equally suitable. Take, for instance, the following list:
World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ Michelle Obama. She is certainly capable of filling Ted's shoes. In fact, she might even surpass the mark that Ted made - on the Brannock Device. She's actually not a bad pick for this. She's already familiar with where Boston and Martha's Vineyard are - what else is Massachusetts is she likely to be interested in anyway? No one would dare get in front of that purposeful stride of hers to stop her and - bonus!- she's already girlfriends with Teresa Heinz Kerry, wife of the other US Senator from MA. Think of the soireés they could have together- with Teresa's money and Teresa's taste and MO's ... uh, ...well, whatever. Soireés. Or maybe Big Mo and Big JFK-no-the-other-one could do a Tour of the Giants, going around the state making some kind of half-hearted food-policy statement by harvesting some organic cranberries or perhaps a public beheading of an organic turkey for Thanksgiving. Teresa and Barry could stay home and bond by reminiscing about the good old days when they lived in Africa. The more I think about it, the better this idea sounds. She'd be a shoe-in. (Har!)
Natasha Fatale. Uh-oh. Does anybody else smell BATTLE OF THE WINE-BOTTLE SHAPED WOMEN WITH PURPLE DRESSES AND BARE ARMS? This bold section carries some risk of a big Mo backlash but would be worth it because of her obvious connections to the Russians. Back in the 80s, American hero Ted Kennedy was pretty busy conspiring with our Cold War enemy, the Soviet Union, against the interests of the United States government. What a guy, huh? In the end, the Ruskies didn't go for it, but dollink with an insider like Natasha, Ted Kennedy's life work of treason could be carried on.
Aunt Zeituni. Talk about your Boston insider! Here we have a little old lady, emigrating (more or less) from a poverty-stricken country, doesn't know anybody or how anything works when she lands here and in a very short time has managed to redirect good deal of American tax dollars for her benefit, complete with subsidized housing, a hip replacement and lottery tickets. This is one smart cookie - if she managed all that on her own flying under the radar of the law, imagine what she could accomplish with the state of Massachusetts behind her. Look at that picture taken as she emerged from the courtroom after her successful deportation challenge - she instinctively turned herself into a Kennedy-esque red head without even knowing there'd be some kind of Irish-related opportunity in her future. You can't learn that - you have to be born with that kind of intuition. Of course, her obvious familial connections don't hurt, either.
Chelsea Clinton. Oh, wise and all knowing Interent - please let this one be true! It's too delicious. Have you heard about all the hubub going on right now for what is rumored to be Chelsea Clinton's imminent wedding? Guess where? CHAPPAQUIDDICK. Burn! Would this not be the icing on the big fat Kennedy fail cake if the whole of the MSM was forced to report a triumph of the Clintons at a location that they could not help but tie to Teddy's cowardly actions and subsequent cover-up in 1969? Maybe not the best choice among the herd here, but she's be a fairly good pick. She's got the Let's Ruin American Healthcare gene from her mom, her dad's philandering gene while dormant in her must be able to signal somehow to the people of Massachusetts who seem to admire that so much, and when the time comes to vote on the healthcare bill, she could probably activate the YES button with that expression alone.
A few follow-up thoughts:
I was just joking when I said that World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ Michelle Obama was going to wear her pope dress to the funeral, but son of a gun if she didn't do just that. It's actually a blouse and skirt. You can see that she's wearing a different skirt than she wore at the pope meeting - probably didn't have enough room in the steamer trunks then for her bustle. So glad she got a chance to wear it yesterday.
She likes to wear a big bow on her chest. Observe:
(image of the Bo Bow courtesy of The Proprietor)
Now can I just ask what is up with Hillary's hairdo? I know it was raining but we've seen countless pictures of her in all types of weather conditions over the years and she never looked like this. This is the same flat, non-styled thing she had going on when she snapped at that African student last month. Did somebody cut the hairdresser out of the State Department budget? I'm looking at you, Barry. I know you two have had your differences in the past but that was low.
Also, who among us does not love to watch MO bang her head on the airplane door over and over again?
link via Jana
She fell asleep during Ted's funeral service but I can't find any video of that yet. Check out this photo - no little eye.
Her little eye appears when she's tired, and although she looks generally ragged, both eyes are the same size. She banged that coconut pretty hard so I'm thinking concussion. That would account for her droopiness. It will be interesting to watch Mo's visibility over the next few days. Let's see if they keep her under wraps during her recovery.
Dear Michelle,Even though the media keeps calling you "young", you're not exactly a spring chicken. You're what - 45 now? Unless you're planning on living past 110, that puts you on the downhill side. Here's a tip - if Barry comes a-knockin' on your bedroom door DON'T LET HIM IN. I think you've heard enough about what happens to the olds when they need medical treatment. I tried to tell Ted Kennedy the same thing but he didn't listen and you know how that turned out.
Fondly, Suzette
World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ Michelle Obama has interrupted her vacation among the elites to travel to Boston for Ted Kennedy's funeral service. Short of cash after buying fried seafood and short of time after bicycling in the dune grass, the clever fashion-forward first lady, unafraid to re-wear her designer threads, shook out her pope dress, strapped up her boobs with her trademark chest belt and jammed on her size 14 kitten heels to make the trip over to Boston to attend Ted Kennedy's funeral service.
World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ Michelle Obama was not the only first lady in attendance. Hillary Clinton (First Lady of Arkansas 1979-1992 AND First Lady of America 1992-2001) also made the trip. She delivered a heartfelt message she had been composing for Senator Kennedy since January 27, 2008.
Ex-wife Joan "The Dish" Kennedy wore a trout pout and the cumulative lifetime burden of ever being married to Ted Kennedy.
The only Kennedy even more of a pig than Ted, Ethel "The Uterus" Kennedy, has hardly been been in camera frame at all. Nobody loves a good-old fashioned Catholic ritual more than our little Ethie. Ethel wore a conservative suit and accessorized with a whackjob offspring better known for reckless driving and consorting with South American dictators.
UPDATED: Ethel, you big old freckle - we luvs ya. I must say, Ethie, you have managed to maintain a tradional and classic wardrobe right up into your 81st year. Lost your hairbrush, though - didn't you?
Is it possible that the First Lady actually has six toes?
Why, I believe that I did ask it not that long ago.
From the archives - June 6, 2009: asked and answered
"Some fashionistas have mistakenly attributed this highly desirable "Squeeze-Me Michelle" look in footwear to the fact that these shoes are manufactured only as big as size 12 and cannot accommodate Michelle's gigantic feet, but that is not true. This trend is all the rage in Chicago as it emulates the mysterious and alluring "6th toe" look first made popular by Oprah Winfrey."
Always so much to talk about when it comes to World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom Michelle Obama™!
AP Headline: Mrs. Obama bringing glamor to Moscow this weekend
You mean like the personal style she brought to Paris on her recent vacation? The MSM continues to promote the idea that World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom Michelle Obama is more that she actually is. Glamour? What she has is a personal style and that style is far from glamorous. Unless this linked article purposely misspells glamour and is trying to credit her with some new fashion trend made up of too-small cardigans, too-high belts and age-inappropriate choices.
Let's talk today about basic female body shapes. Every woman without exception knows what they are and which one she has. The idea is then to dress to conceal or flatter. In the event that my male readers are not familiar with this, let me inform you that the basic shapes are: apple, banana, pear and hourglass.
But now, thanks to our first lady, a fifth shape has been discovered ...
I'm thinking of having a World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom Michelle Obama™ party. Guests must come as a representation of something easily recognizable as MO. I'm looking more for her essence rather than a full costume so it should be a fairly easy thing to pull off.
Guests could select from this list of defining elements:
Even the menfolk could easily do well with this theme. Just cut off the sleeves of an old shirt and show those guns. Bang! Or if you're feeling festive, swath yourself in toilet paper as homage to her memorable but ghastly inauguration gown.
The jewelry should be easy. Short of visiting a flea market and/or dumpster and picking the 3 most hideous plastic items and wearing them all bunched together, any giant paper flower, Xmas garland, ropes, chains and metallic spray paint will do.
I guess I'm not the only one who's had this idea. If you do a search for "lady clown shoes", such a thing exists but they are sold out everywhere. I guess I could use these clown sneakers and add green sparkles to the toecaps and write "LANVIN" across the heel with a magic marker. Maybe add a dangling price tag with $540.00 written on it.
Wahdayah think, Bingley? A MO-themed Barbeque on July 11th?
Gosh, you know, the fashion photos of MO's European vacation are so full of blog fodder that it makes one weary to even contemplate blogging about it. Thank heavens World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom Michelle Obama™ is back at home - but that doesn't necessarily mean that she is slacking in the personal style department. Pas du tout!
Here she is, the envy of early morning dog-walkers everywhere.
Dateline Paris June 5, 2009 - World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom Michelle Obama™ arrived in Paris today with as many relatives and hangers-on as could fit on one plane after the luggage was loaded. The city of Paris was beside itself as the Obama gals surprised the Eiffel Tower with a visit that was arranged for the sole purpose of showing off Michelle's latest fashion invention: wearing a scarf.
Michelle was accompanied by her giant 10 year old daughter and enormous 12 year old niece as well as other, shorter relatives. Full-time professional make-up artist Ingrid Grimes-Myles was on permanent standby for touch-ups in case the face paint cracks. Grimes-Myles has become an indispensable member of the first lady's entourage because she is the only one who has managed to balance out the little eye situation by drawing only half an eyebrow over the big eye.
Other fashion high-notes on display include a popped collar for Malaria and the tail from an actual pony stuck onto the back of little Sashay's head. The first lady pulled out another pair of $540.00 Lanvin sneakers for this trip- this time in green - possibly signaling her intention to ladle out $216.00 prix-fixe dinners from Le Jules Verne food bank located upstairs in the Eiffel Tower.
First Lady Brings Chicago Style to International Stage
Big and Bumpy
Dateline Normandy June 6, 2009 Michelle Obama took the petite French First Lady to school by showing her up with a display of her big American style elements. First she strapped a WWF wrestling belt around her ribcage and complemented its metallic finish with matching strappy sandals.
Some fashionistas have mistakenly attributed this highly desirable "Squeeze-Me Michelle" look in footwear to the fact that these shoes are manufactured only as big as size 12 and cannot accommodate Michelle's gigantic feet, but that is not true. This trend is all the rage in Chicago as it emulates the mysterious and alluring "6th toe" look first made popular by Oprah Winfrey.
World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom Michelle Obama™ could not resist showcasing her biggest asset on the international stage. In the battle of the butts, she completely eclipsed the trim Mme. Sarkozy.
Photo of the Week:
This is the difference between Republicans and Democrats: Republicans want leaders who inspire them to be better, to work towards moral and behavioral ideals and who are constant reminders of what's good about America. Democrats want leaders who tell them it's okay to fall short, to celebrate character flaws as if they were desirable personal goals and who are constant reminders of personal and societal dysfunction.
And ye shall know them by the public images they choose to display:
This one image alone should put a dead stop to any comparison between World-Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom Michelle Obama™ and Jackie Kennedy. Here is your first lady posing for Vogue magazine during the time she spent at the Hay-Adams hotel in Washington DC before the inaguration. Can you imagine Jackie sprawled out ass end up, hair tucked behind her shoulder, looking more like a clothed Playboy pictorial than a fashion spread?
Here is the leader of the free world setting an example for youngsters by sucking down suds while sitting shoulder to shoulder with small children at a basketball game in February. He's America's Coolest President Ever! How does this guy spend so much time out and about the town? What do first daughters Malaria and Sashay do while their parents choose to spend their free evenings out and about in DC?
52% of American voters asked for it, but 100% of Americans have to suffer from it. When you say Obama, you've said it all.
Have you noticed that the Most Beautiful First Lady Ever™ has a situation with that right eye? I'm not yet sure if one eye is smaller than the other one or if it's a droopy lid. In this photo from Inauguration Day, she looks like there's not enough strength in the eye lid to stand up to the breeze.
Don't think that it's combating the outdoor elements that creates this situation. Here she is indoors, all fixed up for her big moment in front of the cameras. Clicking the thumbnail images will let you see that on the first night that she addressed the country on national TV she was wearing a big plastic pin and one round eye and one almond-shaped eye.
Maybe it happens when she gets tired. The strain of trying not to trip on the hem of her toilet paper ballgown must have worn her right out. Her lips are smiling but her eye is drooping.
It's noticeable even from an angle.
Appearing on TV makes the uneven eye size even more noticeable. Here she is wearing her trademark big pin and cardigan sweater.
It hasn't always been there. Look at these photos from her earlier days. So it's a progressive thing. Bears watching.
TurnNow in three parts: Wallpaper Mural, Mother of the Bride and Trannyvision.
Wallpaper Mural. The woman has lost her mind.
Don't worry - I'll get to my detailed analysis of MO's two Inauguration Day outfits. I'm sure you've all seen them and have your own opinions about whether they were good or bad. Personally, I thought they were stunning, in the fullest cattle-prod sense of the word. Don't taze me, MO!
But you may not have seen what she wore on Day 2
Now I'm pretty good at explaining fashion photos but I think somebody is going to have to explain this one to me.
Mother of the Bride. Now what was she thinking with that yellow horror that she pulled out for her first appearance as first lady? Much has been made of her "strong sense of personal style" and her preference for classic and tasteful clothing but if inauguration day is any example, that is out the window. Her admirers stumbled all over themselves to praise her outfits on this day and finally settled on the new rightspeak to proclaim that she is "eclectic and fashion-forward"and she has "an independent approach to style", "makes daring choices", "stands out in a crowd" and displays young, fresh look" and so on along that vein. As if that could convince anyone that this outfit was a winner. Coupla things ... young designers make clothes for young people. And Michelle is not young. She turned 45 this week - probably a tad past the point where you want to be experimenting with 20-something designers. 20-something designers have 20-somethings ideas that are best left to 20-something wearers.
So many questions! The first thing we have to ask is didn't she see it before it was time to put it on Tuesday morning?To say it was not flattering is an understatement. The color, called everything from celadon to lemongrass to a hope/changey "maize", did not suit her complexion. The silhouette was shapeless, the hemline hit her leg at the widest part, the lining was lumpy and a disturbing bright white. coat was held supposed to be held closed by sheer ribbons, but she spent the day fussing with it and trying to keep those ribbons tied as it flapped open and blew away from her body as she pounded down Pennsylvania Avenue. Even closed, the cardigan underneath stuck out and was a distraction.
The assortment of materials textures and adornments in this one single outfit boggles the mind: Swiss wool lace, metallic fabric underlayment, pashmina, crystals, chiffon, netting, buttons, ribbons and silk. The sum total looked less Jackie O and more Mrs. Estes Kefauver. "Give me something real fancy!" Don't even mention the clashing greens of the gloves and shoes - so bad they refused to appear in the same camera frame together. And then, because there was not enough visual interest going on, she added an antique Victorian paste sash pin to the neckline.
Even more horrifying is what it looked like when got indoors and she took that coat off.
Here she is galumping towards the Linconesque luncheon and slumping in her chair. Does this look like a fresh young fashion forward outfit or is it more like something you'd see your old Aunt Gladys wearing at a cousin's wedding?
Trannyvision. As if that wasn't enough for one day, she shows up in this prize package for the balls.
Turns out her "stylist" is the woman who owns MO's favorite Chicago boutique. That explains a lot because it sure does seem like these two outfits were far better suited to hang on a mannequin rather than on a moving human being. She spent the daytime yanking that coat back into place and the nighttime trying not to trip over the bottom of the dreadful toilet paper gown.
Interesting note about the designer of the ballgown: Three people Jason Wu has designed for include drag queen RuPaul, transexual Amanda LePore, and our new First Lady, Michelle Obama.
Uh huh.
Closing thoughts. First: obviously, her feet blistered up as she was clomping down Pennsylvania Avenue. You need no further proof than the sight of those well-worn comfy flats she went to church in on Day 2. Second: let's all hope that those little crystal and puff things all over the gown are not detachable othewise we'll be seeing them again pinned onto a cardigan.
WARNING! Not for the faint of heart.
The author assumes no responsibility for any ill effects sustained by the elderly, the infirm, pregnant women, persons less than 2 years of age or those suffering from severe heart disease, high blood pressure or obstructive pulmonary disease. Look at your own risk.
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I am so stunned by the sight of this that I am left almost completely snarkless.
What we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is a rare sighting of the unshod Michelle ThreeFeet. Not sure what to make of the chestal area - definitely unpadded but is that bodice totally empty or are there little saggy boobies in there right above the belt?
That, of course, is a distraction. It's the foot that mesmerizes. Perhaps we change her name to Michelle ThreeToes, no?
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