Cripes, Suzette!

Oracle

The Thrusday Night Martini Club schedule is all messed up due to business travel, holidays and whatnot. An emergency meeting had to be arranged for last night and as we inch towards the end of the eyar, it is becoming increasingly clearer that we will have to double up in December to get in the projected number of events for 2008.

Over the above pictured actual martini glasses, much ground was covered, much time was made up for and many topics were discused. Oddly, the only thing I can recall is a recipe for someone's Christmas favorite called "Boozy Balls". The ingredient list, as I remember it, is:

• melted choclate
• sugar
• crushed vanilla wafers
• Wild Turkey

Sounds like a holiday to me.

 

A Tale of Three Martini Dispenseries: Fill In the Details For Yourselves

Houlihan's - undeniably watering down the hootch. Status: rebuked.

Morgan's - permanently closed. Staus: unavailable.

Applebee's - recreated the beach on their outdoor patio, complete with sand and beach grass, conveniently located at the foot of the parkway ramp. So very Jersey. Status: new regular place.

Pots of Glory

I cried because I had no morning glories until I met a man who had no twine. Amend that to say "married a man who had no twine".

Last year, the morning glories that I planted to cover the side fence were an embarrassing disappointment. This year, I tried growing them in a large deck pot which resulted in a plentiful and abundant crop. There are a few moonflowers in there, too.

My plan is to use twine as a vine support  by tieing it to the black wire stand and running it up and across the rain gutter. I'm a few days past implementing that plan due to the aforementioned lack of twine and today, I'm starting to fret that the 5 " per day growth rate is going ot get ahead of my procrastination and the vines will wrap around each other and ruin my whole plan.

I am powerless to do anything about it today - even if I did have twine - because it's Thursday and you know what that means. I am not available. So just like the rest of my garden, if the flowers on the deck plan on surviving, they will have to take care of themselves.

Side note: how many plants do you suppose a pot like that can support for the summer? It's 16" wide and 12" deep. I'm thinking 2 moonflowers and 5 morning glories. Should it be more or less?

This Is How We Do It - Jersey Style

Wow! I haven't had a birthday like this since I was 8 years old.

Seafood on the ocean for supper. An array of fabulous gifts. A surprise floral delivery from California from a little boy who now is a man. Treated to a Kung Po luncheon. A festive cake. Serandaded 6 times in person, by telephone, voice mail and intercom. People I haven't heard from in three years popping in to wish me well on my birthday.

Witness:


 This is New Jersey, people.The weather was perfect for eating supper on the patio right next to the boardwalk. This is a cellphone shot taken during a lull between the King Crab Oreganato and The Angry Lobster. Where are your Soprano and turnpike jokes now? It's as good as being in Laguna Beach only we don't have to pump our own gas.



Happy is she who has raised a real man who remembers his mother's birthday without prompting and is excited about surprising her with a thoughtful present. I am a rich woman.

The youngest member of the family turns out to be the actual Birthday Fairy. She does, as she puts it, "pay attention". Here is her hand at work:

• a DVD of Pride and Prejudice. I mentioned this so long ago that even I forgot about it. I hope it rains over the weekend so we can hunker down and watch this straight through. Otherwise I shall be sorely vexed. It would be too much to be borne if the sun was out and I had to make a choice.
• The Jet As Art. Wow - I wish you could see the beautiful photography in this book. It's so much better than I anticipated. Requires study - expect to hear about it again.
• a cordless illuminated flamingo. On at dusk/off at dawn.
• a homemade Tre Leches cake ablaze with some diplomatically chosen candles that avoid the indelicate "how many?" question.

"I'm Mr. Darcy - Fly Me."
Okie dokie, Mr. Darcy!



I bet you don't have one, do you?
Your light-up flamingo probably has a cord.



And one to grow on - there were actually four leches involved in this cake.
I was so focused on working up enough wind to blow these all out that I forgot to make a wish. If it's not too late, let me make it now: I hope everyone of you has a birthday celebration this good.




FYI - The Thursday Night Martini Club definetly has to relocate to the place where we had the birthday dinner. It's only about 4 miles away from our usual spot and it has an outdoor bar, live music and an ocean. Of course, we'll have to get there at 2 in the afternoon to get a seat, but everything is a trade off, is it not? 

If we do move there, the Thursday Night Martini Club might have to have a seasonal change in designation. Just call us the Thursday Night Steamed Clams and Cold Beer Club.

And I'd Also Like To Thank My Crest SpinBrush, Which Made Me What I Am Today

Indulge me while I crow about my healthy gums. It's pretty much all I've got left.

Who could have predicted that following a strict regimen of dental hygiene would result in a mouth full of healthy gums holding in a full set of perfect teeth? Thanks to my toolkit:

• Pepsodent toothpaste
• Crest SpinBrush
• waxed dental tape
• interdental brushes
• Vanilla Mint Listerine mouthwash
• mint-flavored floss picks

 ... that's where I find myself today. It's a lot of effort, and I'm willing to continue doing all this just in case the dentist was right, but I can't help thinking that my gums are so glorious now because I soak them in gin once a week.

Tippling and Tipping

I'm hardly the belle of every ball I go to, but if there's one place that I'm always treated like royalty, it's at the Thursday Night Martini Club.

We always get the nicest greetings from people who have served us at previous meetings. And not fake, sit-in-the-booth-with-you, covered in suspenders and pins greetings either. It's not like we trip them or shout across the bar - these are big smiles and short but genuine conversations and they always approach us first. Not everybody - the PIB at the reservations stand can hardly be bothered to even glance at us and seem to be waiting for Robert Palmer to come through the door and start the video -  but only the folks who've waited on us before.

I suspect that means we we must be tipping too much. Let me ask you - how much is too much? Here are the elements:

• 2 - 3 people
• 2 - 2 1/2 hours
• 2 drinks each and 2-3 shared appetizers
• $50 - $60 bill after taxes; before tip

It's entirely possible that we are tipping too extravagantly. The bill arrives at the end of the festivities and we commence to a reluctant ciphering which rapidly morphs to rounding things off. So much easier that way.

So how much would you tip? Don't tell me percentage - I know what the customary  percentage is. Give me a dollar amount and tell me if you tip on total dollar amount, number of people or amount of effort the waiter puts in.

Imagine No Martinis. I Wonder If You Can. No Vermouth Or Olives. An Unhappy Wo man.

The head cold I brought back from Florida courtesy of all the sneezers down there has brought me low. So low that I had to take a pass on the Thursday Night Martini Club. My immediate plans are to stage a bed-in to protest the lack of sneeze etiquette in today's conference goers. If that doesn't work, I'll step it up to the next level: advocating full Bagism .

Don't you just love that the iconoclastic newlyweds chose to shock the world while wearing the same buttoned-up His-and-Her pajama look that Lucy and  Ricky Ricardo wore 15 years earlier?

Aftermath of the Thursday Night Martini Club

An open letter to anyone I may have emailed last night:

Please delete all records. Thank you.

Suzette

Here is the actual martini (the evening's first martini) of Suzette. It looks so harmless, doesn't it?

I Wonder If Queen Victoria Ever Had One of These?

An Open Letter to Commenters DDP and Pops *:

You were right about that gin martini thing. Now that I have spent an evening with a few Extra Dry Bombay Sapphire Gin Martinis, I am ashamed that I even tried to call vodka in a glass "a martini". Thank you and thanks to Mr. Bingley, too. Everybody knows better than me.

Fondly, Suzette

This week, I had an appointment to get my teeth cleaned on Thursday morning. The hygienist and the receptionist were mad with envy when I told them about the Thursday Night Martini Club. They both said they always talk about going out for a quick decompression session after work but they never do actually go. Don't let this happen to you. Life is short. Live!

* not a couple - just a couple of brilliant people.

A Revelation Visited Upon Me at The Thursday Night Martini Party

Bar food is not compatible with a reduced calorie diet.

This is the third consecutive meeting of the Thursday Night Martini Club. Last week because of business travel, I had to host a chapter meeting in Tennessee. I thought I would be adventurous last night and try one of those fancy - tinis so after thoroughly studying the specialty drink list, I ordered a Pineapple (something )Tini. Mercifully, it was not overly sweet and it did have a nice (food plan-compliant) slice of pineapple hanging off if it. On the downside, it tasted more like a pineapple Lifesaver than an actual pineapple and it had a light layer of sludge floating on top of it. The Martini Cam was somewhat out of focus so you're going to have to take my word for it.

Then I reverted to my standard Ketel One martini straight up but I greedily asked for three olives which spoiled it. I usually get one olive and one onion but I must have been made slightly unfocused by that pineapple thing and thought for a moment that three olives was a good idea.

And that was it - two drinks. Not so much a wild bacchanal as a quiet gathering of pleasant bar flies. With appetizers. Mine is not an exciting life, but it's excruciatingly planned out to the last detail.

Unrelated footnote: When I was reading Goodbye, Columbus, I couldn't help noticing the number of commas on every page. Philip Roth is a lot freer with his comma usage than I am, or perhaps that was the accepted style in 1959. I always second-guess my use of commas and end up deleting approximately a third of what I initially insert. In this little post, I eliminated 4 commas because, say what you want about me but the one thing I never want to hear is that I overuse punctuation.

Stealth Reporting From Inside The First Meeting Of The Thursday Night Martini Club

Observation: A dirty martini could be much improved by using pickle juice instead of olive juice.

More to come ...

6:30 am - Apparently, it's not possible to be a fully engaged member of a martini club and blog about it at the same time. Or after it. I'll try again next Thursday but based on what I now know, it doesn't look promising.