Cripes, Suzette!

THE MAGIC APE BALL ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS

ASK THE MAGIC APE BALL A QUESTION THAT CAN BE ANSWERED WITH A "YES" OR A "NO"

So is the Magic Ape really the missing link? - Ken Adams

Come to think of it, this is probably the only place you can come to learn about 6 oz. bottles of leg make-up, Spoolies hair curlers and the special purpose teaspoons of nursing students, so THE MAGIC APE BALL says this is more of a link to missing things.

 

Magic Ape Ball for President! - Mr. Snitch

President of WWHTMPABCSB (Women Who Have Too Many Pocketbooks Already But Can't Stop Buying) ? THE MAGIC APE BALL says outlook good.

Will I take grandma's curtains to the cleaners? - Tata

Meaningful matriarchal mementos are nothing to fool around with. THE MAGIC APE BALL says when the job is important seek out the help of professional services. Dry cleaners have an inscrutable schedule of determining fees for service and you may very well go there on the day when they are charging by the linear inch so in the end the cleaners may be taking you.

 Do bad drivers get their due? - Mary Beth

Not everything in the world is fair and while there is no such thing as "luck", there are such a things as aptitude, cunning and nerves of steel. Bad driving breeds more bad driving. THE MAGIC APE BALL says drive defensively and wear your seat belt. Every successful incident without consequence adds to the bad driver's defiant skill set.

If you have a flat tire and some guy pulls over to help out, and in the course of "helping," it turns out he's mechanically inept and cracks your hubcap, deflates your spare trying to check its pressure and cross-threads the few lug nuts he doesn't lose down a storm drain, would you refer to this guy as a Bad Samaritan? - schmed

The road to the storm drain is paved with the lug nuts of those who do not belong to AAA. THE MAGIC APE BALL says the correct term for this individual is a schlemiel. Bad Samaritan is last in line for the Nobel Peace Prize. first in line for pie.

THE MAGIC APE BALL ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS

ASK THE MAGIC APE BALL A QUESTION THAT CAN BE ANSWERED WITH A "YES" OR A "NO"

Does this make me look fat?

By modern Hollywood standards, Marilyn Monroe would be considered obese. THE MAGIC APE BALL says that this makes you look like Marilyn Monroe. Hubba hubba.

Did you know Brooks got a "cease and desist" order from the original 8Ball folks just like the Soup Lady received from the Joy of Boneheads?

Engaging in the art of parkour when it comes to copyright infringment can be quite exciting but in this case, there is no concern at all because this has nothing to do with the number ait. THE MAGIC APE BALL says let's just hope that the magic apes don't have lawyers.

Is Suzette okay? Has she undergone a major life change? Will she ever be back to normal?

Suzette is that enviable combination of Gemini and Lithuanian, which means that she has many facets to her personality and none of them take other people's opinions into consideration. THE MAGIC APE BALL says who decides what's normal, really? 

Hmn... have you heard about the alleged Marilyn Monroe diary that has been talked about recently? I am guessing "hoax", but there is one passage where she allegedly stands naked in front of the mirror and gives herself a critique. Hubba hubba indeed.

A personal journal can reveal the truth about people, even if it contains fictionalized writing. By the way, you don't even alledgedly know from hubba hubba. If you ever saw the alleged MAGIC APE BALL naked in front of a mirror, you'd burst into flames. THE MAGIC APE BALL says sheild your eyes.

What is the answer to the great question of Life, The Universe and Everything?

THE MAGIC APE BALL says the answer is Love, the echo is Love and the secret is Love. THE MAGIC APE BALL loves you forever, Mary Beth.

What is your quest?

THE MAGIC APE BALL exists to serve others. THE MAGIC APE BALL says give and you shall recieve.

The answer to the great question of Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42. The real question is, what's the actual question?

The only true answer is the one you find yourself. THE MAGIC APE BALL says sometimes it's better not to dwell on the question. Just accept.

If you sophists and ambulance chasers are all done now I need to borrow the Ape Ball. The cottae cheese is two days past its expiration date - you think it's still good?

The international dairy cartel has created the concept of expiration dates to manipulate the economy by striking fear into the hearts of consumers and ultimately driving up sales of fresh cottage cheese. Seize the whey! THE MAGIC APE BALL says experience is the best teacher. Curd is the word.