Cripes, Suzette!

Oh. Em. Gee.

I was just gearing up to write something about all the noise you hear about Michelle Obama as a fashion leader and yet you don't see anyone actually copying her giant ugly pins or her big belts suitable for furniture lifting, when who should appear on the scene decked out exactly like that:

 

Gawd, I've missed her.

So, it would appear that we're doomed, ladies. If this is any indicator, starting with the fall cycle, I'm sure we'll all have very limited choices and we won't be able to avoid looking like MO: big upholstery-type prints, giant sucky pins and all of our high heels will be green.

Color Me Suspicious

First of all, I want you to know that I really did move on from any kind of analysis of news-maker fashion choices as political signals. I wanted to close the door on the Hillary era here and just get on with it. But ladies and gentlemen - what I'm seeing here can't be ignored.

First, a little pre-test to establish the baseline understanding. Rate the following Democrats in order of the magnitude of their power and influence:

• Barack Obama
• Nancy Pelosi
• Hillary Clinton

Ok, now consider this: pearls.

The internets are full of Michelle O - Jackie O comparisons. That, of course, is bullshit. Don't even get me started - let's stick to the pearls for now. The talk is all about how MO is doing the traditional first lady pearl thing  but doing it her own way - everything from a pearl-trimmed afro-pick to those god-awful brooches she likes.

I came across this piece at one of my daily reads All The Rage, in which the image staff of the  LA Times "muses on the culture of keeping up appearances""

 "If you thought pearls left the White House with Barbara Bush, think again. Kenneth Jay Lane, the king of costume jewelry, counts former first ladies Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Nancy Regan, Barbara Bush (she wore a strand of white, faux KJL pearls to one of her husband’s inaugurations) and Hillary Clinton as clients. And Lane is dropping a strand of colorful, faux pearls into the gift bags at the Creative coalition's Gala and Inaugural Ball."

And who should show up wearing something remarkably similar at her highest profile appearance in two years?

Oh yeah! It's our best girl, Hillary Rodham, accompanied by a section of Mt Rushmore as she appears in what is very likely the first in a series of high-visibility throw-downs. We'll soon see who's the real "first" lady, won't we? But, ho! What have we here?

 

Well, bless my soul if it isn't Nanny Pee at the opening of Congress last week! And look at that necklace. But wait there's more:

  

Here she is looking all smooth if somewhat asymmetrical at the opening of Congress in January 2008. She's sporting big multi-colored pearls as well as those remarkable sundowner boobs of hers.

And in 2006! (One word, Nanny: roots.) I think there's some kind of message about real political power and enduring influence here but I don't have it quite all together yet.

Now to confuse the issue even more, check this out: "QVC will be selling the same Kenneth Jay Lane pearl necklace during their live broadcast from the Creative Coalition’s inaugural event."

Um hmm. QVC. Remember back during the primaries when HRC got a big donation from Barry Diller's wife and appeared immediately thereafter sporting a big old QVC Diamonique ring?

I'm telling you - something is going here in the Women of Political Power department and they're arrogant about it, too - the clues are too obvious. I don't quite know what it is yet, but it's not about anybody named Obama. That much I'm sure of.

Post test: now, knowing what you know, please re-rate these Democrats in order of the magnitude of their power and influence:

•  Barack Obama
•  Nancy Pelosi
•  Hillary Clinton

[Full Disclosure: I own the KJL triple-strand Barbara Bush faux pearls because OF COURSE I DO!  WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? I bought them from QVC.]

Turds That Will Not Flush

#1. Hillary Poised To Accept Obama's Job Offer As Secretary of State.

Oh, please let it be so. Who among us would not like to see the return of HRC to the national - nay, international! - spotlight? I know I would. That would explain her sudden emergence in the squee-making garbage bag ball gown last week - she's practicing for all those diplomatic formalwear occasions.

The question is not will Hillary accept the position, but rather which Hillary will accept the position? Will it be the one we saw on the campaign trail who was spackled up with pancake and the main support of the big bead industry, or will it be the more recent   Golda Meir-ish/Saggy Baggy Saddlebags HRC that we've had only rare glimpses of since she gave up her quest for the presidency?

Who cares (insert interrobang here) We'll take either one. Love you, Hillz! Don't make us wait too much longer.

#2. Ted Kennedy Back At Work In Senate

"Kennedy, D-Mass., was greeted by a rousing cheer from his staff on Capitol Hill as the Senate returned for a brief session to deal with the economic crisis. "I feel fine," Kennedy said shortly before a luncheon meeting with about 100 staffers in the Senate's cavernous Russell Caucus Room. Kennedy, 76, was accompanied by his wife, Vicki, and their two dogs, Splash and Sunny."

So, to sum up:  his staff, his wife and his dogs were glad he was back. May Jo Kopechne was unavailable for comment.

Liveblogging the Hillz: Goodbye Old Paint

10:37 pm - Chelsea's monotone drones over the Pepsi Center's speakers as an image of a freight train bears down. Look out, Obamanites - she's about to steamroll in. Lots of Chelsea's unattractive profile on the film. Ill-conceived, to say the least. C.C. introduces her mother from behind  an obvious tranquilzer haze.

10:42 pm - Orange pantsuit! She's telling us that she's a prisoner and is not there expressing her own free will. The heart breaks. Maybe she's going to bust a move and she'll be allready to do her time picking up garbage from the side of the highway. Start worrying, Barry. The great pumpkin is about to speak.

Who picked the music for this convention? For a party that has the musical artists all locked up, you would expect more, wouldn't you?

Ok, now THIS is an appropriate crowd response. Oh, that sweet sweet sound of the halting cadence and off-beat  inflection. I can't believe we won't be hearing that again until 2012. You can practically see the air quotes hanging above her head as she speaks.

 

10:47 pm - I didn't see her shoes! Now she's planted behind the podium. Please let them be dyed-to-match, like a bridesmaid. Always a bridesmaid, never a President. It's too sad.

10:50 pm - OMG. Hillary calls up one of her fictitious needy constituents. Autism, no health insurance and cancer - a trifecta of  liberal healthcare boogeymen all wrapped up with a painted bald head. Nobody does it better.

Her first mention of Bush is buried under the laughter for "sisterhood of the traveling pantsuits". Michelle would do well to be taking notes up there in the balcony.

Now she's channeling Dr. Suess: "Putin in Georgia, Iran and Iraq  (Wish it was me instead of Barack.)"

10:55 pm - She  calls up the specter of Chinese money. Hutzpah! Paging Norman Hsu! Now throwing in a little children's education, another swipe at Bush, minimum wage - she's got all the talking points  in there but who even cares? The woman is magnificent!

She's got her small jewelry on again. No need for overt ladyhood now - her orange pantsuit blazes on the screen as she takes the mob in the palm of her hand. They roar when she wants them to and they listen silent and rapt when she makes them.

11:00 pm - Hillary compliments Michelle and the camera cuts to a shot of Laura Petrie in the stands.

She just got them all to boo. Tell me again why she's not the candidate.

Oops! "My daughter got to vote for her mother for President" Not exactly, Hillz. Your boyfriend BHO took care of that when he pulled the rug out from under you.

11:08 pm Remarks over and Hillary takes her victory walk, just like Miss America. There she is, your ideal. Someone hand her a bouquet of American Beauties, please.

11:08 and a half - Victory sprint is more like it. She's outta there. $13 million message delivered and she's gone. Goodbye, you magnificent bastard. Back to your dusty nest in Chappaqua. See you again in four years.

PS: Can you even believe she showed up in an orange pantsuit? 

PPS: I just realized she was channeling Loretta Castorini (Moonstruck 1987)

Johnny: In time you will see that this is the best thing.
Loretta Castorini: In time you'll drop dead and I'll come to your funeral in a red dress!

She showed up at Barack Obama's 4-day Denver funeral in an orange pantsuit. Well played, lady.

Final word: Sweetness & Light takes a retrospective look at Hillary's hairdos.

 

HillaryWatch: White Women and Gang Signs*

People who are smarter than me think that there's no way Hillary can pull it off in Denver, but I remain hopeful. And Canada agrees with me. Or at least the part of Canada that wrote this article:

I Smell A Clinton Coup Brewing

The signs are all there and this article recounts the most obvious ones:

• Camp Clinton convinced Camp Obama to help liquidate her campaign debts.
• Camp Clinton convinced Camp Obama to call for Florida and Michigan voters to be counted.
• Camp Clinton convinces Camp Obama to agree to a floor vote at the convention when all the cameras will be rolling.
•  Camp Clinton removes Obama supporter John Edwards from the equation, along with his scheduled convention speaking spot.
• Barockstar tanks on national TV only days before the convention and his campaign staff is sent out to do damage control, leaving the super-delegates gasping in a holy crap moment.
• Meanwhile, Camp Clinton is mobilizing millions of NObama minions and staging a convention coup in which Hillary can ride in on silver steed to save the party from complete implosion on an international stage… 

Read the whole article here - I especially like this imagery: Ship Obama is taking on water faster than the spin machine can bail.

Don't you think it's amusing that Hillz is flashing signals to her horde of grannies, getting them all churned up so that they're ready when she makes her move? I thought that I was just an interested bystander, enjoying the disarray in the Dem party but it occurs to me now that I might,in fact, be a PUMA.

I'M READY, HILLARY!

* title inspired by one of my pet (what's the word for opposite of peeve?)  the "White Chick and Gang Signs" video on YouTube. This is my strategy for combatting the jerks on the Parkway - I flash a sign, usually that W thing for West coast, and make the trout pout facial expression - to make them think that there will be retibution for their stupid and annoying driving. It's far more satisfying than flipping the bird.

HillaryWatch: First, Get Your Foot In The Door

From Our Department of What Could Possibly Go Wrong? -

Her: Ok, so you're the presumptive nominee -it's a done deal. Now don't you think it would be nice if you shared some of that center-stage love?

Him: "I know that I don't walk alone, and I know that if I can get myself out of the way that I can maybe carry out in some small way...."

Her: Focus, honey, focus. What I'm saying is, it can't possibly change anything for you if I make one of the prime time speeches during the convention. By the way, Bill's got nothing much to do now, so maybe he could have a spot, too?

Him: "I think that whether you are looking at it from a theological perspective or a scientific perspective, answering that question with specificity, you know, is above my pay grade."

Her: And my PUMAs insist on demonstrating thier lingering dissatisfaction. Talk about your bitters! Maybe if we could just place my name in nomination alongside yours during the traditional state-by-state delegation roll call vote? That would go a long way to creating party unity.

Him: "Evil does exist.I think it has to be confronted. It has to be confronted squarely. Now, the one thing that I think is very important is for to us have some humility in how we approach the issue of confronting evil, because a lot of evil’s been perpetrated based on the claim that we were trying to confront evil."

Her: Is that a yes or a no?

Him: "In the name of good, and I think, you know, one thing that’s very important is having some humility in recognizing that just because we think that our intentions are good, doesn’t always mean that we’re going to be doing good."

Her: * blink * *blink *

Him: Well, you know, it’s one of those situations where the devil’s in the details.

Her: OOO-kay. I'll take that as a yes.

Him : "Look, the - here’s how I think about it. Here’s how I think about it.Yes, well - depending."

Her: (whispers into cellphone) Hello, Bill? Like candy from a baby. Call Chelsea and tell her it's a go. Mama's coming back!

Him: You know, I remember what my mother used to tell me...

Her: (slams door on the way out)

HillaryWatch: Preparations

As you might have guessed, I am besides myself with happiness at the prospect of Hillary coming back into camera range. Today's spotlight story:

Hillary Gets a Refresher

"A source tells us Clinton visited a New York plastic surgeon early this month and received injections of a "dermafiller" in her face."

Oh yeah - she's getting ready to rock the convention in Denver. I'm not seeing any new pictures of her this week - she's probably busy shopping for new jackets and giant beads so she can look her very best for us. I'm sure that if there were any new photos, I would be able to find them. This internet thing is good for that kind of thing. Really! I just typed "HRC speech at democratic convention" into the Google search box, and look what came up:

And I promise you I'll never desert you again because after 'Denver' we'll take another office and another office. You see, this is my life! It always will be! Nothing else! Just us, the campaigns, and those wonderful people out there in the dark!... All right, Ms. Pelosi, I'm ready for my close-up.

   

One Sunny Day in New Hampshire

Oh, she's back - she's back! We missed ya, Hillz. And OMG they've got matching outfits! They're ready for a couples competition in ballroom dance or a Sonny & Cher road show. Everybody sing:

[HIM:] They say I'm young - my ears are big.
At least I'm not a blue pant-suited pig.
[HER:] I think I know how you stay thin.
Did you get here by riding on a Schwinn?

Bar.

The answer to what Hillary's been doing all this time seems to be fairly apparent - she's been packing on the hip meat and she grew a little pooch, too while she was at it. Maybe that's the underlying cause of her "campaign" debt - the bills for all that arugula started rolling in.

.

.

The presumptive nominee checks out the rear view to see if it's any better and presumes that it was more like a gallon of ice cream, a bottle of Hershey's Chocolate Syrup and a spoon. Every night.

.

.

In a belated bit of political fence-mending, BO attempts a conciliatory gesture aimed at Muslim American voters. By placing his coat over Hillary's head, he can prove to Muslim voters that he's got nothing against covered-up women.In this case, he prefers it that way.

.

.

Bill is not the only Clinton who wants their ass kissed by Obama. Hillary waits while Barack indicates he's rather  choke himself with his tie. There's not enough angry old lady voters in the country to make that happen.

Scenes From A Campaign:

• Unity, N.H., is not just small, it's small and out-of-the-way. For the attendees, the choice of location would be a nightmare.
• the Obama campaign went to great lengths to separate the media from the crowd, deliberately making it difficult for reporters to interview attendees
• It was a hot day, nearly 90 degrees, and there was no shelter.
• thousands of attendees stood in the downpour awaiting thier bus
• It had become apparent by the end of the day that the campaign really hadn't given any thought to the comfort of the people it had bused in.

"The poor folks who gave up an entire day of their lives to see this event got sunburned, dehydrated, then soaked all so Obama could have his symbolic unification rally in this remote town.It was also ironic that the campaign that has made so much out of promising the swift and orderly withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq could not even manage an exit strategy for Unity, N.H."   Andrew Cline, The American Spectator

For This Reason Alone, The New York Times Should Be Closed Down

Oh Hillary, Hillary! I just can't believe that you're gone.

Can you even believe that the New York Times  compared MO's big beads to Barbara Bush!?  Really? Barbara bush wore pearls - three strands at a time - but they were certainly not the big jawbreakers that MO is sporting. You were the one who set the bead bar higher than Wilma Flintstone and now you don't even get a mention in a story about political fashion accessories. It is not to be believed. Ah well - tell you what - go away, take a nice little vacation for yourself and rest up for your next move.

Because you do have a next move, right? I mean - you're not really done, are you? Hillary? You're out there somewhere, right?

Hillary?

Isn't She Something?

Wow! Old Hillary is keeping them on the ropes as long as she possibly can. I don't even know what to say about that speech of hers last night. I'm sure  that old Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is thanking Allah right now that he doesn't have to spar with her.

We got the part about 17 million votes, but she skillfully danced around, never once saying "lost", "won" or "candidate". She's not conceding - not yet anyway. She made one more pitch for contributions and then invited us all over to her website to leave a message.

Happy to oblige, Hillary. It's the least I can do after you provided me with so much entertainment all these months.

  .

.

.

.

Gawd, I'm going to miss her.

DANCE PARTY

She's going out dancing.

It's a whole new Hill we're seeing now - the fun one. This must be the Hilary that Ole Bill was drawn to. In this video clip from Puerto Rico, it's not the drinking that makes news - in fact, it's odd to see a photo of Hillary now without a drink in her hand. No, it's the dancing.

Here she is in Puerto Rico dancing and drinking. The thing that is so endearing in this clip is how she makes the Blissy Face at 0:25.Charming! .



You've gotta give her credit - she is by far the most interesting candidate we've seen in decades. Here she is making a last grab for the heavily Catholic Puerto Rican vote by going around in her own Popemobile. Is that the PR Secret Service or is that the Memphis Mafia? Either way, that gal knows how to have a parade.

 

  

Never give up! Hillary dusts off the Madonna bracelet for more Catholic pandering and just in case she really is going to concede tonight, she gets 28 year old First Child C.C. to coach her as she practices her braying for a bid to become the first woman ever to be a living mascot for the Donks. Like mother, like daughter - here they both choose to position themselves to block powerful men from the camera lens. Hillary towers over Carl Rove and John Wayne sniffs C.C's armpit.

 Well, this is the day I hoped would never come - the day that America is expecting old Hill to roll over and concede. And she just might do it, too. Of all the photos we've looked at and all the messages we've deduced from her wardrobe choices, this one is loud and clear. Now that she's got nothing left to lose, she's letting us see her cankles.

It's a sad day.

Liar Liar Liars

Cautiously Optimistic.  We haven't seen any new jackets or accessories on Hillary for a while. You know by now that her fashion choices are purposeful, so what did that mean? It was a symbol of her admission of defeat. So sad. But look what's happening now - she showed up at her post-Kentucky speech wearing Old Faithful (the brown suit) but with layered accessories. We've seen that chunky Wilma Flintstone necklace before, but is that a new coordinating scarf? This is surely a reflection of her overall campaign situation - still in the game but too much debt to afford a whole new ensemble. I'm saddened to see that HRC is not paying attention to her hairdo. Remember back to the good times when Dignified Former President William Jefferson Clinton held up air traffic while he got that $200.00 haircut on the runway? Old Hill must be economizing by cutting back on the number of haircuts she gets -see how the longer strands on top weigh the 'do down? And the back is getting suspiciously long - you don't think she was making a play for the mullet vote in Kentucky, do you?

  A Kennedy Makes a Dignified Exit. Jackie, not Teddy. Even his most rabid supporters admit that there's not much associated with Teddy I that can be called dignified. No, when Jackie was faced with the facts of her intractable cancer, she opted for no treatment. Although she was diagnosed with  non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, she actually died of pnuemonia by refusing antibiotics. By that means, she died sooner than if she had the standard chemo/radiation treatment, but her decision spared her and everyone around her from the horrible decent to the inevitable. It was a brave decision, but bravery is also not a term associated with Teddy so I suppose that we're going to be treated to endless reports of all that modern medical treatment has to offer him. Maybe his sister Rosemary's brain surgeons are available to help out.

 Rock Stars. Say, did you know that the record-breaking crowd of 70,000+ people who turned out in Oregon to sit at the feet of Brak Obama saw "a rare, 45-minute free concert by actual rock stars, The Decemberists." (I guess Bruce Springsteen was busy. Or passe.) before BO took the stage?  I didn't either! The MSM forgot to mention it. They also forgot to say that the day was all blue skies and temperatures in the 80s. It's the Pacific northwest - any day that it doesn't rain is a reason to be out in the parks, nevermind a free concert and national media attention. I heard they passed out loaves and fishes, too.

Ole Bill In Twilight

I find the the way that  the media has abandoned distinguished Former President William Jefferson Clinton highly amusing. For whatever reason, the curtain has been pulled aside and he's revealed to be a real creep*.

The news outlets now feature daily reports questioning what's wrong with him lately - the popular consensus seems to be either early Alzheimer's or an advanced STD, with a minority opinion of post-cardiac surgical complications. The news items report his missteps, chronicle his outright lies, repeat unflattering things we may have missed on the nightly newscasts, speculate that he is purposely sabotaging HRC's campaign  and take particular glee in identifying his purple-faced fits of anger.

Was he always this way but protected by the media? Or is this new behavior that even reports and editors find uncouth? either way, it's a win for all of us - truth and confusion for the disappointed faithful and entertainment for the rest of us.

Here we see Ole Bill in Philadelphia, silently reflecting as Hillary takes the stage. There must be an obvious caption for this photo- darned if I can think of what it is.

*In fact, wasn't that Monica's name for him after he abandoned her - "the big creep"?

Hillary Goes Hollywood

Poor old Priscilla Presley. Here we all thought she wanted to look like that and all the while she was the victim of an unscrupulous doctor/gigolo who promised something better than Botox but actually used low-grade silicon normally used for auto lube. Never approved for injectable use, "the injections cause lumps, paralysis and holes ... Priscilla is currently receiving corrective surgery to fix her face."

Tired of getting the business about her wrinkles and aged appearance, our gal Hill decided to get in on the action, only she had the misfortune of being injected with silicon carbide normally used for plastics and ceramics. These injections caused her face to solidify into a glassy jack o'lantern grimace, ideally suited for both cable news interviews and scaring superdelgates away... Hillary is currently receiving raspy voice lessons from Joan Rivers.

In other celebrity beauty news, Demi Moore reveals the secret to her youthfulness is leech therapy, but not just any leeches - she insists on using "highly trained medical leeches" which, excuse me? but I've been in the medical business for quite a while now and I don't believe I've come across any training programs for leeches. (note to self: investigate leech-related job opportunities)

Hillary said she won't be needing any medical leeches because she's already got two ugly blood suckers that are permanently attached to her.

Parade Lovin' Hill

I like the way the New York Post characterizes HRC as "Crisis Hill". It's the method Mattel uses to designate the same basic doll in different ways: i.e., Malibu Barbie, Animal Lovin' Barbie or Pretty Perfume Barbie. When the public tires of one, come up with another one.

Hill's been laying low this week, and when we see her again, she's going to be Wicked Witch Hill - she's always so much bitchier (and dangerous) when she's on top. As Obama sinks in the polls, she'll stay in the background and as soon as she senses that the pastor flap is about to fade from headlines, she'll be back - wearing a red dress.

Mark my words - all these dreary browns and greys she's been wearing since SuperTuesday are going back into the closet and she'll be trotting out that quilted salmon colored jacket again. The dark jackets are her Victim/Underdog wardrobe. Obama's sinking in the polls and as soon as she detects her comfort margin, we'll be hearing her on all the news outlets non-stop, all wide-eyed innocence as she lets loose with the cutting remarks about BO.

There were so many photos this week of Hill parading for St Patrick's Day in her bright green shamrock scarves, bedecked with green carnations and waving merrily to the crowds along the parade route. But I couldn't enjoy it - I saw only Sad Hill. If you doubt that Hill is sending messages via her wardrobe choices, take one look at this and tell me that it doesn't break your heart:

It hurts me to look at this. There she is, wearing sensible shoes and dressed in a solid black man coat to convey her president-like dignity and self-confidence. She's smiling and waving, surrounded by  hangers-on and paid security people, but the object of her affection - the crowds - are held away from her. Do you see the inner Hillary there? The romantic, the desperate female longing to be seen as a woman worthy of real love?

Oh, the poor thing. Unloved by her harsh father and her careless husband, she toughened up and cloaked her womanliness to gain admittance to the boy's club. All the Wilma Flintstone necklaces in Washington can't mask her  beat-em-at-their-own-game strategy. Who among us could have guessed that inside - as mirrored by the riotous lining of her plain black coat - she's a romantic. And not a sublte one, either. She's a big cabbage rose screaming out with fuschia intensity: I OFFER YOU THE FLOWER OF MY INNER SOUL. HELP ME TO BLOOM. LOVE ME!

Sadder still is a peek at the real Hillary - her face, not her clothes. They say you get the face you earn and here is hers. No stage make-up, no flattering lighting, no hairdresser and an unguarded expression. Oh Hillary!  The brave jaw, so defiantly jutted forward, but sunken and shriveled nonetheless - unkissed, unwanted. Her forehead beginning to furrow above those severe eyebrows which can be plucked but cannot be tamed. And the expression - heaven have mercy. Her expression is one of expectation, but not a hopeful expectation. It anticipates disappointment. It waits for rebuff. There's a small small glimmer of hope that she will at last see what she is looking for: out loud, genuine and unconditional love. Maybe this time?

But she knows. She knows it won't be coming, at least not for her. All that looks back at her is a paunchy old billy goat and an unattractive clone that stares back at her with her own face. And now the voting public, her most constant and faithful companion, prefers another.

The crowds who used to chant her name and thrill when she walked into a room have been calling for Obama. They've been flowing away from her, like blood that trickles drop by drop from the prick of a thorn. The real Hillary lets the mask slip for one brief moment and it all shows in her face. So carry on, brave girl - wave and put one foot in front of the other. Flash your blossoms and wrap yourself in roses. We've seen your inner flower and you have our pity.

I could just cry.

It will be a relief to see Frontrunner Hill return this week to pile onto the wounded Barack Obama and kick him while he's down. That's her best move. She's got the red dress ready for the funeral and we all get to watch.

The Besmirchment

Q: How Do You Make A Tissue Dance?

A: Put A Little Boogie In It.

When last seen, our gal Hill was plodding across Pennsylvania wearing the Brown Suit of Gloom. Here she is in Scranton doing her best imitation of a used Kleenex.

Now this hurts me. CBS news  refers to that song as tailor-made. Don't they realize it's one of the classic references from The Office TV show? Perhaps not everyone can recite the dialog word for word like I can so in the end, I suppose it's harmless enough but it still hurts. That's what she said!

In other show biz news, funnyman Sindbad has redeemed himself forever as far as I am concerned by refuting Hillary's tall tales of "a hair-raising corkscrew helicopter landing in war-torn Bosnia" and then a mad zig-zag dash across the tarmac to evade snipers. Sinbad, Sheryl Crowe and intrepid Jill-of-all-trades,  Chelsea Clinton were along for the ride. In this Wapo interview, Sinbad reveals that the "scariest" part of the trip was looking at Chelsea's ugly mug wondering where he'd eat next.

You know I want HRC to stay on the national stage as long as possible, but if you are planning to vote for her, please share with me why you would do so. I cannot imagine why anyone would.

I Take Umbrage. Umbrage!

Despite the fact that I have only a handful regular readers, my influence on the mainstream media continues. I don't know how it happens, but the MSM copies me. And they've been doing it for quite a while. I won't bore you ( or give them more ideas) by listing the tedious details of the many instances when it has happened, but things are at a crisis point now

Take this, for instance. Last week, I made a bunch of new taglines to go beneath the blog title, including the one on display now. The thing that makes this different from previous instances is that I didn't even publish it and yet the big news outlets knew what I was thinking! So that's what it's come to: All I have to do is think of some good blog material, and boom! - the next thing I know, it's all over the news. I can't prove anything in a legal sense, but believe you me, I'm putting a moratorium on thinking around here for a while to throw "them" off.

But big deal - you want Spiro T. Agnew? You can have Spiro T. Agnew. I'll even throw in the Agnew file I started from my forays into the Time Magazine archives and the image of his headstone from Find-A-Grave. There's something more important we need to talk about. Have you seen the Guardian article comparing the fashion statements of Michelle O and Cindy Lou? Ok, that's all well and good - all they do here is semi -seriously list a few points like hairdos and accessories in a boring presentation. I suppose it's all fair game. But, people - check out this Jezebel piece IN WHICH THEY INTERPRET FASHION SIGNALS BY MAKING POP CULTURE REFERENCES.

Future First Ladies Should Be Judged Solely On Fashion

Uh huh.

Now I ask you: is this not a direct poaching of my "Cankles" concept? Don't bother answering - res ipsa loquitur! See how I have to resort to Latin to express myself now? That should throw them off my trail for a while.

Further, I am withdrawing myself from the internet for a period of four days, starting immediately*. I can only hope that will be a sufficient time span to let my trail go cold and I can get back to blogging without the responsibility of carrying the on-line press. Just in case I should mysteriously disappear as punishment for this whistle-blowing, I am forced to play my trump card months ahead of its time:

Our next president is Barack Obama. Not only is he the new JFK, but Michell O is the new Jackie O. I base my prediction solely on the striking similarity in the size of their enormous feet.

You try finding an image of Jackie's feet - it's not that easy!  I think she must have used a four-pronged approach to keeping the public unaware of just how colossal those things were:

1. The First Lady period: the contemporary press were in on that whole Camelot thing and never published anything unflattering to the couple. The only time you see a full body shot of JBKO from that time period is when her toes are peeping out from under an Oleg Cassini original.

2.The Post-First Lady period: She must have leveraged her close attachment to RFK and asked him to wield that Kennedy power over the media to expunge all podatric images.

3. Mrs. Onassis - feet always hidden from long-range lenses behind the deck rail of The Christina.

4. Jackie O - In that pre-Photoshop era, she used Ari's money to hire former CIA document experts to doctor all photos of her feet and crop images at the knees.

Well, it's a new day and Michelle O and her big mouth are getting a pass from the critical press, and not just her big mouth but her big feet, too.  Look long and hard at this photo taken before she was anointed as the new First Lady. ( Sorry, Hill. Really, really sorry to see you go.)  That was before it was decided that she's be the next First Lady. Look at the flood of photos of her since her husband's star started to rise - see any feet anywhere? No! The media protects her from harsh foot-related comments from an uncensored public.

I further predict that during the Inaugural Parade down Pennsylvania Avenue towards the White House, the Os will be riding in a car, not walking and providing and opportunity for the world to look at her feet in action.

Bookmark this page and refer back to it in the months to come. You know I'm right and now I have it on the record before the MSM tries to co-opt it. I would also like the record to show that I am the originator of the moniker "Michelle Three Feet" because each of those gunboats is 18 inches long.

*Coincidentally, that is the exact length of time that I will be gone to Florida for a professional conference.

This Is What Teddy K Should Have Been Singing In Texas

Who among us has not been entertained and amused by Teddy K singing in Spanish? Jalisco! Jalisco! At one point, I thought I might have recognized the piece he was singing, but then...no.

He was just a few days too soon with that little number, though. If he waited, he could have belted out Hillary's new Hispanic campaign song. I am not kidding when I tell you that I am positively obsessed with this after just one listen. You will be too. The full story complete with lyrics can be found at Wonkette.

Oh, pleeeeeze , Associated Press - please give me a photo of HRC onstage somewhere is Texas with Walter Suhr and the Mango Punch! playing this in the background. Wouldn't you like to see her dancing around to the happy beat?

I'm not even making fun of this! I'm partial to Tejano music. This is too much pleasure for me. Listen:

Hillary, Hillary Clinton (por ella voto yo)
Hillary, Hillary Clinton (por ella voto yo)

Too bad her big yap has to open up at the end and endorse the message. Harsh!

UPDATE:  Mi gentes! Obama's got a Reggeton campaign song! El gigante!

"Como Se Dice...Como Se llama? (OBAMA, OBAMA)"
"Como Se Dice...Como Se llama? (OBAMA, OBAMA)"

 
 

This one is almost as good as the Optimum Online Triple Play commercial. Free advice to the  Obama campaign people - try to buy 877 393 4-4-4-8 as the phone number to get people to volunteer/ donate/ whatever for your candidate. It can't  miss. And that disco whistle! I want this played at his Inaugural Ball.

Where is John McCain's campaign song? Better get a move on, Johnny. How about some Champagne Music? Maybe the Lawrence Welk Orchestra is still together? Or you could prop up Huey Lewis and the News for a recording session.

I just know I won't be able to work at all today because I just died and went to Campaign Song Heaven.

Brown Is The Color Of Despair

Here is your real fashion insight from last night's debate: while I suspected that Obama had a trunk full of identical suits, I had no idea that he had multiples of the same tie. And Tim Russert got hold of one!

 

The guys are stylin' in their bright blue ties while poor old Hill can think of no better idea than brown tweed. You know the whole campaign team is suffering from he same lack of energy and despair when glamorous Huma and even 28-year-old First "Child" Chelsea appear on stage after the debate dressed in more brown.

It's a sad parade of mousey brown. Looking like a bunch of house sparrows flapping around in the dirt, there's neither sparkle nor  frill among them. In fact,  Chelsea is completely unadorned - not even a tweed jacket - and as such is appropriately attired for a funeral, save for the hooker makeup. Is it just me or did she miss the mark with that blusher? Perhaps she's cementing her reputation as a listener not a talker, by drawing attention to her ear. The Clinton bag of tricks is bottomless.

Another sign of diminishment is the normal-sized handbag Huma has neatly tucked under her arm. Oh, Huma! Gone are the days of the oversized tote, overflowing with schemes and dreams. Now Hillary's future fits into a 7x10 inch half flap clutch. A brown one.

Speaking of tricks, HRC makes good on her promise to control her husband by sending him to a "rally" in the boonies to speak from the back of a pick-up truck (Silverado One) and then taking away the rusty oil drums so that he couldn't climb down and horn in on the post-debate photo ops.

Ole Bill passes the time by repeatedly moving his red clown nose from his face to his microphone and back again.

Hi! I'm Suzette, the Hillary-Watching Trendsetter

Unless I am, unbeknownst to myself, one of those time-travelers able to bend time so that things I think I remember are things I actually witnessed tomorrow and then traveled back to today with what I thought were original ideas, then I am going to give up the healthcare business and go into the political pundit racket.

For those of you who thought my intense observation of HRC's wardrobe choices as vehicles of a message and clues to the real Hillary was too far out to be of any use, I now present a Slate article where reknowned food writer Mimi Sheraton searches for meaning in Hillary's food choices:

"In the absence of an interview with the lady herself, I have pieced together clues to Hillary's eating habits from various reports, to try to determine whether she is tough and self-assured enough to function as president or is merely a food-fashion victim who opts for the flavor of the moment."

Now is that a version of my concept or what? I admit that I was a little miffed that I wasn't cited in the article as the inspiration for the Slate piece but then I forgave everything when I got towards the end of page 2 and read the interpretation of  "the video that the Clinton campaign put out parodying the final episode of The Sopranos, in which Tony and Carmela and A.J. eat onion rings together at a diner. In the Clinton version, Hillary orders carrot sticks instead of onion rings ..."

Really, you should read that one for yourselves. Well done, Mimi. And that's not the only juciy tidbit here. The Clinton's White House chef serves up this:

"And if (distinguished former) President Clinton was on his own for dinner, he invariably canceled the healthful meal that had been ordered for him and asked Scheib to dig into his secret stash of prime meat and grill a 24-ounce porterhouse steak with béarnaise sauce and fried onion rings, evidence that marital cheating can take many forms."

Act surprised.

During my encounter with HRC at the Sunny Palace, she didn't eat anything, although there were black-out windows on her campaign bus, so who knows if she had take-out in there? I apologize  to my readers - I should have recognized that as the great blog fodder that it is. I'm entirely annoyed with myself that I didn't think of this food angle first.

She's Almost Done

ALMOST DONE

Just when we thought that we'd never see Hillary's bare arms, here she is trying hard to keep up with Michelle O. Look at the poor guy on the left, obviously disgruntled about having to turn over one of his personalized aprons, displaying his annoyance by emblazoning his opinion of HRC onto his own apron front. His eyes may be smiling but embroidery doesn't lie.

I do not rejoice in the prospect of Hillary's defeat. As you know, I dearly hoped that she would remain in the spotlight for a long, long time. I suppose one can still hope that she'll work some of that famous Clinton behind-the-scenes magic and suddenly turn up with more superdelegates than ABC*,  or maybe all the superdelgates will be found dead in a park somewhere - who knows? Anything can happen now!

I must say, Google Images has been very accommodating to me where HRC is concerned. Wasn't it just the other day that I was longing for a photo of Hill with bare arms? I see now that I should have been more specific .

Dear Google Images,

Can you please find me an image of Hillary with bare arms winning at Bingo! Thanks a bunch.

Suzette

*America's biggest vote getter: Anybody But Clinton

Wart Watch: Level 1

Hillary Clinton: America's First Lithuaniac President

[This post was inspired by Tigerhawk's pondering on the validity of HRC as the First Latina President.]

If the case can be made that Distinguished Former President William Jefferson Clinton  was the first black president, then I'd like to make the case for Hillary as America's First Lithuaniac President. Not only does she continue to use her clothing and jewelry to send signals to certain interest groups, but her physical appearance is one continuous salute to the Lithuanian-American voter.

In the same way that pasta makes the heart of Italians beat faster and lutefisk continues to hold a certain power over Finnish-Americans, there are certain foods that make the Lits glow and Hillary doesn't miss a one of them.

• Kapusta Power to the people! Not only does she have a cabbage-shaped head, but she often styles her hair into a tribute to boiled cabbage leaves.  In this photo, we get a 2-for-1 as HRC does her crowd-pleasing imitation, the "herring face".

• puts the "sour" in sour cream

• "beets" husband with home decor accessories

• The preferred foodstuffs of the Lithuanian-American community is anything that is white, cheap and greasy. Here is our gal Hill  missing the message by trying to consume a paper napkin that fits the definition.

But it's not just the foods -

• Derived from the capitol city of Lithuania, her Secret Service code name is "Evilnius"


• She lives in constant worry of being swallowed up by enormous nearby entity waiting in the shadows for another chance to dominate.

• Just in case that happens, she displays the "safe signal" to Russian overlords by adorning herself with Baltic amber. Question: what is the national bird of Lithuania? (Hillary - people are saying that you're a CRONE, not a CROW. Give up with the animal imitations- the herring was a good one; this one not so much. Although I must say - nice choppers!)

• Crushing the tender heart of Lit-Am sportsfans by outdoing beloved quarterback Johnny Unitas by displaying her full back.
  

• Has sympathetic affinity for Perkunas, the Lithuanian god of thunder(thighs). It's no coincidence that in Baltic mythology, Perkunas was pulled forward by a Billy goat.

So there we have it - I think the latinas are going to have to get in line if they want HRC to be the first latina President. She's busy with the Lits.

Wart Watch: Level 6

 

I Have Connections But Unfortunatley Those Connections Cannot Connect With Anyone Else

My life is fairly unexciting, and I accept that. I'm used to it and I take my pleasure in the adventurers of others. This week, there were two major carrots dangled in front of me that caused my heart to beat faster.

First, an internet pal from Seattle told me that he was going to see Hillary at her Thursday night rally in Seattle. I was instantly euphoric because this person knows full well what elements interest me and was fully prepared to deliver.  In fact, in 2004 he was able to give me a detailed report after he was in close proximity to Teresa Heinz Kerry (off-white slacks and a deep salmon-colored silk shirt, was it not?)

But it was not to be. Traffic tie-ups prevented his attendance at the rally. And look what the woman was wearing - leopard spotted accessories! Our gal Hil is getting a lot of mileage out of that brown suit - here it is at  the recent Los Angeles debate paired up with an unfortunate choice of accessories. I like a nice bit of turquoise as much as the next girl, but Hillary - did your stylist miss the plane that night? FYI - Hillary is definitely NOT pulling little Chelsea around like a show pony. Take that, David Schuster! I'm sure there's a very good reason why she has to stand on stage glued to her mother's backside, mute and grinning.

And darlings - if the vision of the leopard accessories is not enough, how do you like her in kitten heels?

Hillary has deployed her cankle-cloaking hemline but cannot resist taunting us with a peek at the Hillary within. Kitten heels, people, Hillary in kitten heels! And the vision is only slightly marred by the swollen feet peeping out over the vamp. Obviously, she left her water pills in the case with her coordinating jewelry.

Immediately following this disappointment came news that another compadre, on another coast and on the other side of the aisle, would be attending an event celebrating the highlight of the Republican social season - the Lincoln Day Dinner. The entertainment promised here was none other than New Jersey state  treasure  Uncle Floyd. So balance is restored in my universe. I might not be getting a first-person account of a Hillary sighting, but by golly, I'd have me some Uncle Floyd. I was completely confident that I'd get as personalized a report as humanly possible, since this reporter had previously turned in satisfying reports about hotel toiletries and Vera Bradley handbags.

Alas, this was also an unfulfilled mission. I guess the boneless chicken breast was the big moment of the evening, because when that was over with, so was the party. Nevertheless, our man does provide these thrilling observations about Uncle Floyd:

1. He’s gotten pretty chunky.
2. He arrived wearing a Yankee cap and clubhouse jacket.
3. He travels light: his porkpie hat, plaid jacket and a guitar.
4. Oogie was nowhere to be seen.

Uncle Floyd established his signature style and stuck with it, unchanged over the years: the plaid jacket and porkpie hat. Not everyone can pull that off.

Fans of mp3s, crude song parodies and Jersey jokes, rejoice! Because he didn't get to hear it in person, I present to you now one of Uncle Floyd's classic compositions: Deep In The Heart of Jersey. Why this is not the official state song, I cannot imagine.

Wart Watch: Level 1

Hillary Courts The Pimp Vote

The HRC campaign has taken exception to a remark made by an MSNBC anchor suggesting the Clinton campaign has "pimped out" Chelsea.

Maybe Obama is right about the generation gap thing and Hillary and her people are out of it (and so is David Schuster) - somebody get these people over to Urban Dictionary to look up the definition of pimped out. Chelsea already got pimped out with her multi-procedure cosmetic surgery - too bad she's reverting. One thing surgery couldn't fix is her man hands - she's still got her mother's face and her daddy's bony fingers.

Now if by "pimped out", everyone involved interpreted that to mean "physically used for the benefit of a master" - again, look it up - then I don't think that there's much question that the campaign is doing exactly that. And it's not going over very well, either. Observe this clip of The View ladies making fun of the phone calls Chelsea placed to them on behalf of her mother.

Now if you want to talk about the real definition of pimping out, Hillary herself is the master. Did I not tell you that something was fishy with her sudden embrace of the bling? Observe her wedding ring finger one day before the DVF endorsement and look again during her Seattle appearance on Thursday.

 

See what I'm sayin'? NOW who's the pimped out one?

With this post we inaugurate a new feature here at Cripes, Suzette!: The Wart Watch. when I fist saw this thing on her upper lip, I tought it was an unfortunately timed herpes outbreak, but I've seen it in more than one shot now. It's not always prominent - depends on the lightings, the angle and the thickness of the makeup, but if you look for it, there it is. Click on the image on the right and you'll see that Wart Watch comes in at about a Level 3 on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the maximum wartiness.

Wart Watch: Level 9

A Hillary For Everybody

It's Super Tuesday and our Gal Hill is out to be everything to everybody in a big push to garner as many votes as possible. She is nothing if not adaptive to what the people think they want. Look for these Hillarys®  on display today as she reaches out to all segments of the voting public:

The Law and Order Vote

Not just a tender-hearted woman who has been wronged by a straying husband, Hillary demonstrates the "I'll crush your head" plank of her social reform position.

.

.

The Youth Vote

Hillary courts the college crowd by offering to open beer bottles with her teeth.

.

.

The Grandma Vote

In a show of solidarity with aging Baby Boomers, Hillary displays the giant age spot on her cheek which she has been told makes her seem more "human". This look also appeals to befreckled voters of all ages.

.

.

The Game Show/ Ancestor of Daytime Talk Show Vote

For those who miss Merv Griffin, Hillary promises her own Celebrity Lookalike services

.

.

The No Feces Left Behind Vote

Finally, some specifics about Hillary's health care plan as she gets hands-on to demonstrate how the medical needs of Americans will be addressed after she starves the laxative manufacturers out of business.

And she won't be doing it alone,either. Here distinguished former president William Jefferson Clinton wakes up long enough to practice his main function as First Lad. (Did you think that there would be no payback for that Monica thing?)

.

.

The Fashionista Vote

In a failed attempt to sway international fashion watchers, Hillary is disappointed that no one has recognized her Princess Di look-alike outfit.

.

.

The Mom Vote

More fashion pandering as Hillary goes maternal and appears here with trained monkey daughter Chelsea in co-ordinating Mother/Daughter hijabs. "The future's so bright -  did I get it right, Mommy?"

.

.

The Snarky Caption Writer Vote

[Write your own caption here.]

Joan of Argghh!: The Robin Hood Vote: Unafraid to forcefully take our money from us for the common good.

Dogette: (Evita lyrics, from the song, "Rainbow High"):

I came from the people, they need to adore me. So Christian Dior me,

from my head to my toes

I need to be dazzling. I want to be Rainbow High. They must have excitement,

and so must I

IonaTrailer: The Alimony Vote. On behalf of women who got done wrong, Mrs Clinton shows how to really put the squeeze on them.

Tina: "I did not have sex with Mr. Clinton."

.

 
The Great Unwashed Masses Vote

Hillary tries to generalize her appeal as she takes to the streets of NYC to mingle with her constituents. A wise politician knows how to take precautions and employs her custom made ACD (anti-cootie device).

.

.

The Political Junkie Vote

The JFK finger pose, Barbara Bush's fake pearls, Eleanor Roosevelt's old gabardine suit and Ronald Reagan hairdo add up to a political reference for everyone.

.

.

The Military Vote

As if.

.

.

The Tough Broad Vote

Hillary can throw the stink eye better than any other front runner. This is the moment before the flames  shoot out of her eye sockets. (Secret message for Teddy K - start working on that underground bunker.)

................................................................

Equal Opportunity Snark: I would love to work up a little something about Grandpa McCain by referring to him as Grandpa McCoy but people hardly remember the lyrics to Mellow Yellow or what a Pet Rock is these days let alone a reference to a 60s sitcom role for Walter Brennan. Kids these days!

It's All Lips And A-holes

I'm off to Nashville for the rest of the week. I'll be too busy to blog, to read blogs or to jump on the next juicy development in Hillary's climb to the top. Don't let anything good happen while I'm gone but if it does, email me right away. I have a Blackberry and I'm not afraid to use it.

(Post title taken from a conversation I had the last time I was in Nashville. A helpful person advised me to eat at a local Mom and Pop type place instead of at the fast food burger chain, because "its all lips and A-holes in the meat over there." That's the kind of counseling that you don't forget.)

One more before I go:

And this is good old Washington

Home of the ass and the clod

Where the Obama  talks only to Kennedy   

And Hill's got her pants in a wad 

No Chitchat Between Clinton and Obama at President's Speech

"Clinton, clad in scarlet, crossed the aisle between their seats on the House floor. Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, the Democratic icon who had endorsed Obama earlier in the day over Clinton, reached out his hand when she came close. She took it; they shook. Meanwhile, Obama, dressed in a dark suit, had turned away."

(Has anyone seen Uncle Arthur around here lately? Because I'm feeling like I'm in an episode of Bewitched and someone has cast a spell on me to write bad poem puns whenever I read a Hillary headline.I can't stop myself. Also, it would be a mercy if my source material was not quite so obscure.  "Color me peach and black" - is no one here a Prince fan? Or a student of Mayberriana? I'm going to start adding footnotes to explain myself. Maybe a week in the trenches will beat this kind of stuff out of me)

 

A Poemumentary

Uncle Bill Uncle Bill
What did you do today?
I went to church but took a nap
when it was time to pray.

Uncle Bill Uncle Bill
Shake yourself awake!
I'm really not too interested
How long's this gonna take?

Uncle Bill, Uncle Bill
You went to sleep again
I'm not asleep. My eyes just closed 
for only 5 or 10.

Uncle Bill Uncle Bill
You look asleep to me.
Well ,what the heck
Aunt Hil won't know -unless its on TV.

What's up with Uncle Bill? Is this the same person described in the New Yorker profile as playing cards all night and keeping sleepy journalists up with his endless stories? Does his recent behavior - this and the purple fits of recent weeks - strike you in any way at all as behavior befitting a former U.S. president, even if its an impeached one?

This video is getting big play on a lot of blogs today, but the most amusing comment by far can be found at Ace of Spades:

Was I sleeping?  Well, that depends on what the meaning of "zzzzzzz" is.

I Knew Something Was Up As Soon As I Saw Her Making A Big Show With That Ring

DIANE VON FURSTENBURG HEARTS HILLARY

Click here for close-up of HRC's ring. Bonus feature: Grandma's giant cheek "freckle". Apparently, Joan Rivers has yet to contribute otherwise we'd be hearing about the Joan Rivers Absolutely Magic Face Treatment Wand to remove age spots, also sold on QVC.

(FYI -  Suzette hearts junky rings from QVC.)

Are You There, God? It's Me, Hillary.

When I was a child, I had a little record player. It was really just a turntable in a suitcase with one dial and a squawky little speaker, but I loved it and played my records on it for years.The day came that I turned the dial to "ON" and the turn table didn't start spinning around. Sometimes, I could get it going by pushing the turntable around and around while clicking the dial at the same time but the time came that nothing would move it except prayer.

I knelt by the side of the bed, anguished entreaties pouring forth, making bargains and offering up sacrifices and making deals with God. Sometimes I would get to the point of tears. I would promise anything if only I could have what I wanted - another chance to hear the music again. Most of the time it didn't work, but sometimes it did and then I would have to make good by lighting candles, withholding a bitter verbal shot at my sister or whatever it was that I promised. I suspect that Hillary Clinton made a similar deal with the Lord this week.

"Dear God, Please, please, please let me back in the game. I'll do anything to be back on top again. Anything! I'll even wear a jacket WITH PUFFED SLEEVES."

She just lost the women's vote with that one. Am I right, ladies? I think it's been abundantly demonstrated that the fashion industry is influenced by the leading ladies of politics and if puffed sleeves make a comeback because of this, we're all headed for Canada.  Is there anyone out there who is not chilled by that prospect? We've been there and we're not going back.

Alternate theories about Hillary's wardrobe:

• Tried ironing her own shirt and scorched it
• Displaying solidarity with domestic worker sector by wearing ensemble made of stained floor rags
• Vows to dress in colors of novitiate nun as penance for her big fresh mouth.
• Courting Black Eyed Peas Fans voter base, but misinterpreted meaning of "lovely lady lumps"
• Still beating the Woman's Vote drum by selecting Mother/Daughter outfits for her and C.C., reverse bizzaro-style.
• She's working her way through the jacket color spectrum, starting with black in Iowa and culminating in Eva Peron white when she accepts the party nomination at the Democratic National Convention, followed immediately by brazen display of pillbox hats.

I Pulled Out My "Madame President" Suit And Put On My Hollywood Makeup For This?