Too Bad I Can't See Your Comments So I'll Never Know Your Advice

Let's say that you were me. That would mean that you:

• are more about the accouterments than about the thing itself.
• confess to being a big fan of all things retro
• are a leetle bit of a snobby elitist whenever you could afford it
• derive satisfaction from things that nobody else knows or cares about.

Then let's say that you were all worked up over the stupid and awkward giant V-shaped 11 oz. martini glasses that pollute the landscape everywhere you go. You couldn't control that, but you sure could do something the barware that you bring into your own home.

This has been my progression, friends:

• enormous handpainted V-shaped martini glasses with 5" stems.

Lovely to look at, delightfully whimsical but the curse of the big-boobed woman is that you have to sit straight up like you were wearing a back brace, otherwise the base bumps into your boobage and you can't get your lips to the rim of the glass without dumping it all over yourself.

• cheap set of 4 10 oz. plain V glasses with 4" stem

nice basic set on sale at Bed Bath and Beyond.  for a ridiculous $11.99. Came with a Boston-style shaker that you could never get the hang of. Fail! Also, not good because of the slow realization that your drink was warm by the time you got to the bottom of it.

• cheaper set of 8 oz plain V glasses with 3" stems

Mr.Sami, always on the hunt for a bargain no matter what it is, spotted this set on top of the freezer section in the supermarket. 4 glasses and small metal shaker for - get this: $4.00. The glasses are smaller, shorter made of thinner glass - all satisfactory. The shaker top goes over the bottom instead of tucking into the bottom and I have never yet made a drink in it that didn't blow up on me. I need to be served by either of two somewhat recalcitrant family members who seem to be able to manage it.

So now I'm thinking that the next logical steps is some saucer-shaped, small bowl cocktail glasses. You take your average B&W movie from the 40's and you don't see any V-shaped monstrosities there. No you see 4 0z glasses in a bell or saucer shape. In fact, in my obsessive internet reading of all things Mad Men, I came across an interview with one of the set designers who said that the three-martini business lunch was absolutely accurate, but the martinis were much, much smaller then. Three sips and you were ready for a refill. Compare that to today's standard 11 oz of gin or vodka per pop. No one could do business after three of those.

So that takes us directly to eBay. Now, assuming that you are still me, which of the following selections shall we bid on?:

• Tulip-shaped saucers

Nice! Shortish stems, simple design. thin and elegant bowls. Famous vintage glassware pattern called "Candlewick". 5" tall; 4" across flared bowl. Starting bid $14.99 for 4.

• Fostoria Champagne coupes

Another well-known name in vintage glassware. Fancy, bordering on ornate. Well, all the way to ornate I guess. Product of Ohio. 5 1/2" tall; 3 1/4" across bowl.  Starting bid $9.99 for 4.

• Anchor Hocking "Boopie" Sherbet glasses

Superbonus points for shortness!  The 2 glass sets above were fine crystal, this one is thick glass. Common and cheap. You can usually find sets of 8 or 12 for 3 bucks on eBay. I love this stuff and I can totally see myself sipping daintily from these. Disclosure: My family had six 5 oz footed juice glasses like these that we used once a year to drink wine at Christmas dinner. Let's all cry now. 4" tall; 5 oz. High starting bid of $6.99 for 6.

• Etched crystal bells, 3 1/2" tall

Elegant, fancy and fine. Unnamed pattern,  they have the highly desirable shortness. Starting bid $16.00

•  new Riedel Tyrol martini glasses

Drool! Short, tissue thin crystal and so clean and simple it just about breaks your heart. 3" tall; holds 6 oz, 2 for $29.00

• new Olive-stemmed martini glasses

Yes, they're V-shaped, BUT they're short and they have translucent glass olives in the stems. 6 oz. $25.00 for 4

So, now that we're saying that you're me, which of these should we get?

Bonus history lesson: Another reason to repudiate Jimmy Carter:

Some specifically ascribe the demise of the three-martini lunch to Jimmy Carter, who condemned the practice during the 1976 presidential campaign. Carter portrayed it as part of the unfairness in the nation's tax laws, claiming that the working class was subsidizing the "$50 martini lunch." ...  His opponent, incumbent President Gerald R Ford, responded with: "The three-martini lunch is the epitome of American efficiency. Where else can you get an earful, a bellyful and a snootful at the same time?"

Comments

[Lulu]

Have you considered an iced bottle of gin or vodka and a straw? Or a very tiny diving board?

Welcome back to the world, Suzette. Lifting my Two Buck Chuck (chardonnay) to our hostess!

[Lulu]

PS. I like the first choice, up at the top. Though those kitschy olive-stemmed ones have a certain appeal.

[Jim - PRS]

Testing ... 1, 2, 3 ......

[t]

hello?? tap..tap... tap... is this thing on?
I vote candlewick.. and I have a salt/pepper shaker and some other stuff in this pattern if ya want it/? candlewick is STURDY

[gregor]

I have a collection of different sizes and styles of Martini glasses, fit for most occasions, but my personal favorite is "The Aircraft Carrier", as it was anointed one evening by a friend. It holds a whopping 11.oz of my favorite 100 proof restorative concoction, and tests one's steadiness of hand, especially on the second one. After the third, it's usually another shirt ruined. But, by then, who cares..?

[Joan of Argghh!]

I vote Riedel. Sheer elegance, just the right amount of snobbishness.

Extra points for thin rims so one can cleanly and stylishly sip without having to slurp and mouth the glass.

[elbee]

I vote for the ones with the olive in the stem. Just something that caught my eye - and I don't know of anyone who has them

[dogette]

I sent you a reply email to the one you sent me and I made suggestions.

[Teresa]

I'd say which one... but if you won't see it, it doesn't make any difference anyway. Besides no one ever listens to me, don't break that precedent whatever you do. My advice is bound to be wrong.

[pops]

I met a TypePad comment upon the stair, when I turned around it was not there.

[patti]

I like the ones on the bottom - they're the purdiest.
And I always insist on being served when enjoying my glass of red wine. That is the one time somebody does something for ME.

[DogsDontPurr]

I like the ones with the little olive in the stem. But antique dealers everywhere will love you forever if you buy any of the vintage ones shown. I used to be in the antique biz, and let me tell you, vintage glassware like that was nearly impossible to move. I learned that the hard way. I had tons of the stuff. It looked great on glass shelves in the window, but nobody would buy it! Even at prices as low as 50 cents/glass.

I suggest checking around at thrift stores and second hand stores...and weekend flea markets/antique swap meets. You're likely to get some amazing bargains on vintage glassware. You also might find some unusual shapes that you can mix and match.

[beedee]

Have checked out Target? They sell a lower priced Riedel line.

[beedee]

Curious girl that I am, I hit Target's web site. They have many reasonably priced martini glasses, including several with offset stems which would solve the base bumping problem.( I feel your pain. I have the same problem) Just for giggles I cruised over to Macy's site where I found many elegant choices. However, the item that intrigued me was a beautiful Calaphon cocktail shaker. Want, want.

[Porchlight]

I like the ones at the top. Elegant, small, not too fancy, not too expensive. Will work just as well for wine as cocktails (and of course champagne, and champagne cocktails). Actual vintage instead of fake vintage (fake vintage being a pet peeve of mine).

The little Boopies are also very sweet, though.