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This is the difference between Republicans and Democrats: Republicans want leaders who inspire them to be better, to work towards moral and behavioral ideals and who are constant reminders of what's good about America. Democrats want leaders who tell them it's okay to fall short, to celebrate character flaws as if they were desirable personal goals and who are constant reminders of personal and societal dysfunction.
And ye shall know them by the public images they choose to display:
This one image alone should put a dead stop to any comparison between World-Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom Michelle Obama™ and Jackie Kennedy. Here is your first lady posing for Vogue magazine during the time she spent at the Hay-Adams hotel in Washington DC before the inaguration. Can you imagine Jackie sprawled out ass end up, hair tucked behind her shoulder, looking more like a clothed Playboy pictorial than a fashion spread?
Here is the leader of the free world setting an example for youngsters by sucking down suds while sitting shoulder to shoulder with small children at a basketball game in February. He's America's Coolest President Ever! How does this guy spend so much time out and about the town? What do first daughters Malaria and Sashay do while their parents choose to spend their free evenings out and about in DC?
52% of American voters asked for it, but 100% of Americans have to suffer from it. When you say Obama, you've said it all.
Devoted fans of Schweppes Bitter Lemon will be overjoyed to hear that the product is once again available in the U.S. It's been mysteriously absent for many years, but my sources tell me that it is now readily available on the shelves of high-end supermarkets and liquor stores in Houston TX.
No New Jersey sightings as yet. (FYI - Canada Dry Bitter Lemon is no substitute.)
In general, I am opposed to emoticons and feel that they are killers of the written word, such as it is in modern times. However, there are certain times that I would like to use one particular one. During IM sessions, I would like to express nausea and/or emesis in response to a message that someone has just sent to me. Is that asking too much?
Although the G mail developers saw fit to make available a pile of crap complete with buzzing flies, they overlooked the barf thing. In the past, I have resorted to making my own, but unless you know what it is, you might not recognize my intent. :0=
I am pleased to note that they have included the interrobang. In times like these, there is a huge increase in occasions where the interrobang is the only fitting punctuation, followed closely by barfing.
Walter Scheib, White House chef for two presidents, revealed in the New york Times that " There was a small garden on the roof of the White House where produce was grown. The Clinton and Bush families dined regularly on organic foods." Too bad nobody reads the Times anymore because those facts have gone unmentioned in all the hubbub over the latest White House garden news:
And it doesn't stop there! Once the PR dies down about establishing a garden on the south lawn, the Obamas then plan to kick off the next news cycle by setting an example for the rest of the country in terms of energy conservation. They'll be implementing Phase One of the Obama energy plan by installing a solar-powered clothes dryer on the north lawn. Being the coolest president means that no common clothesline will do, but will instead be designed in the image of the 44th presidency as we have come to know it.
'Real Housewives' coming to Jersey
The Real Housewives of New Jersey Premieres May 12th!
I have spared you my obsessive scrutiny of the RHoOC and the RHoNY - for instance, the whole Gretchen Rossi/Jay Photoglu thing (let's email if you want to discuss), Federal bailout candidate stupid Tamra Barney and her upside down home ownership, the hillbilly Countess LuAnn who is bosessed with other people's manners but eats with her fingers and goes out of her way to make people uncomfortble ... and so on. But now it's the Real Housewives of New Jersey!
Why was I not contacted for an audition? I have a McMansion, if you define that as a 70s-era center hall colonial covered with vinyl siding. Very Jersey! And don't talk lavish lifestyle to me unless you have spent one evening lazing about on a sofa with a built-in recliner listening to your husband yell "screw you!" to a cable news broadcast. Not everyone can pull that kind of thing off.
Meet the Real Housewives of New Jersey
OMG. Two sisters married to two brothers in the construction busienss, and another housewife is marreid to the sister's brother. The OC had oranges, NYC had apples and Atlanta had peaches - I predict the bumper shots will feature the RHoNJ holding tomatoes. I am looking forward to seeing Bravo's interpretation of Jersy girls - close-ups of Parkway exit signs, pulling up for full service gas and clogging up Route 34 shopping for pumpkins while I am trying to get home from work.
Jaysus Gawd.
World famous fashion icon and All American Woman of Good Taste Michelle Obama, no longer content with draping tacky junk jewelry onto clothes designed for 20 year olds, has started imprinting her personal style mark on the White House.
Breaking the practice of other, less cool First Ladies, Michelle has started with making over the outside of America's House by dying the fountain green to celebrate St. Patrick's Day.
For real.
Spokespeople for the first lady had no comment when asked if Michelle Obama planned to touch the same fountains with festive marinara sauce for Columbus Day.
America Apologizes to Britain for Obama
NOW UPDATED! SCOLL DOWN FOR IMPORTANT WHITE HOUSE PRESS RELEASE!
Oh, that Obama. The internets are on fire about the big news out of the White House.
Who says the MSM is not doing their job? In what other country in the world would you find the media, as if with a single voice, revealing the truth about what is going on with the president right now? First the dog story, then the bipartisan Superbowl party, the grey hair and now, the really big investigative scoop: children got a swing set.
And this has created a rift in blogging opinion like nothing we've seen since ... well, since the Obama girls were paraded in front of the Access Hollywood cameras. There are only 2 camps: (1) leave the little girls alone and (2) those poor little camera props. I firmly believe that this is a sincere gesture from loving parents solely for the benefit of their daughters.
And this is why:
1. How can you even think that the swing set is a calculated device for image boosting? Just because it's set down in the line of vision right outside the windows behind the president's desk doesn't mean that we are going to be seeing pictures of the man hard at work while his daughters frolic right behind him in plain camera view. The swing set was placed a few yards from the Oval Office because that's the only place on the White House grounds that they could think of to put it. You can clearly see that in this photo of the south lawn, which is essentially the back yard of the White House.
2. They would never use those little girls as political props. Yes, they stood out in 18 degree weather for hours with bare heads during the inauguration but that's was only because there was no pre-arrangement to promote J. Crew hats. Child abuse? No, they're from Chicago - they've been on stage for extended periods in much colder weather without hats.
3. What do you mean that elder daughter Malaria is too big for a swing set? Despite the fact that she's mature enough to have a crush on pop stars like the Jonas Brothers, most likely already gets her period and is nearly 7 feet tall, she is is not! at all too big to enjoy the swing set.
4. They needed a swing set right now - even if that meant setting it up in the snow - because they live in the fishbowl of the White House and they need some kind of release from all that pressure. Thank heaven they are already toughened up for this kind of life. There has never been a time in either one of their lives that they have not been children of a very visible politician who never hesitated to display them whenever necessary. They know no other life except at the edge of someone else's spotlight. And anyway, it's about time they had a swing set because for unexplained reasons, they sure didn't have one at their family home in Chicago.
5. Safety first! According to the federal publication Handbook for Playground Safety publication #325, "a playground should never be installed without protective surfacing of some type. Grass and dirt are not considered protective surfacing because wear and environmental factors can reduce their shock absorbing effectiveness."
Does anyone really believe that the 0s are going to find a Portuguese Water Dog in the pound? I don't. For that matter, do the 0s strike you as dog people in the first place? Cat people, for sure.
Anyway I used to think that they'd have a faithful retainer buy the dog from a breeder a few months ahead of the scheduled reveal, and then give it up to a rescue group with the understanding that someone from the White House would be right along to set up a photo op with Malaria and Sashay meeting their new pet. But it suddenly occurs to me that there might be an entirely different plan afoot.
Uncle Teddy's already got one foot in Poucha Pond and can't last much longer. Even Queen Elizabeth has him on the fast-track for knighthood before it becomes a posthumous award. He's going to leave behind three PWDs. Don't you love how the PWD expert in the artcile linked above notes that these dogs are "really good at opening refrigerators"? You're busted, Senator. That explains a lot.
Surely the widow Kennedy will comply with the will and turn over at least one of them to the 0s. It's perfect PR all the way around to keep that Kennedy-Obama connection at the forefront of the public consciousness. Surely that is what this White House dog business is all about anyway. If it really was to be a family dog the way everyone else's family dog is, they'd have it already instead of timing the arrival 6 months later.
So look for one of the Kennedy PWDs (Sunny, Splash and Mary Jo) to make the move to Pennsylvania Avenue. I'd say probably about 16 days after the funeral.
subtitled:
YOU DON'T REALLY WANT TO SWEAT THROUGH ANOTHER SUMMER,
DO YOU?
My two most successful weight-loss experiences were with Weight Watchers and Somersizing. I can't bear any more tracking activities than I have in my life right now, so Weight Watchers is out and Somersizing it is. For those of you who might not know, Somersizing is a low-carb thing, more South Beachy than Atkinsy.
And so I present to you - but mostly to me - a list of things that you can put tuna salad on instead of bread:
That's it. I'm out of ideas on Day 1.
UPDATE #1 - One more idea: both cheese and olives are allowed in the Somersize food plan. Now how ever can I work bleu cheese-stuffed olives into my day?
UPDATE #2 - Just came into possession of some wedgie-free underpants. I'm going to be some force to contend with this summer, what with the absence of wedgie and the tuna breath and all.
This is what it's like to be me.
And I'm not complaining.
I'm bragging.
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