Valley of the Dorks: Dog Walking Edition

I saved up my pocket change and went off to the hair salon today expecting to get $100.00 worth of beauty. The bill came to $75.00 so I'm a little it farther behind on the beauty curve than I expected to be at this point. I was sort of reluctant to lose my little pony tail. I haven't had a pony tail since before a peanut farmer was elected president and it was kind of cool. I could pull it up whenever I got all steamed up - a frequent occurance - and it was ideal for that pre-shower early morning dog-walking. 

Did I forget to mention that I have a personal wellness plan going on? No need for the Obamas and Pelosis to tell me about preventative measures and healthful lifestyles. I have made a commitment to daily dog walking and  red wine drinking. I take a break from the red wine on Martini Night, but otherwise I'm quite consistent about it all.

Anyway, dog walking. I'm the middle-aged blonde you see motivating up the street while you're still sipping your coffee and looking out the window in a daze. I've got all the standard accouterments -  the chunky white sneakers, the grey sweats and the baseball cap with a little ponytail protruding from the back. It's The Look.

Now the ponytail is no more. I'm happy with my refreshed look - sort of a little dutch boy/pudgy Doris Day kind of vibe - but the ball cap isn't going to cut it anymore. The best I can hope for is the shorter hair poking straight out over my ears from the pressure of the cap.

But one door closes and another one opens, you know? I came home tonight and what did I see waiting for me? A neon green reflective vest! It's just like the kind prisoners wear when they pick trash from the side of the highway. I proudly velcroed it on tonight after my hairdo session and strolled about the street. I had to wonder how many navy-blue clad lurkers spotted me during that brief half hour.

So satisfying to know that I am visible from 500 feet.

Comments

[pops]

You'll need very big sunglasses to hide behind. One time in the Monterrey, CA Albertsons my late mother-in-law said "Shhhh! Look carefully to your left! That's Doris Day!"

And it was.

Behind really big sunglasses.

[pam]

After I have a hair cut I go from my trusty ballcap to the visor for a couple of weeks until the little ponytail grows back. :)

[LeeAnn]

Next goal... visible from space!

[dogette]

I carry my own orange cone for unexpected stops.

[Joan of Argghh!]

Does the vest have an SMV triangle on the back? Mine does!

[Tami]

For years I have refused to let my hairdresser give me layers. My only reason is that I want to put my hair in an easy ponytail when I go to the gym.

[The Proprietor]

International Rescue Orange: it's the new black.