Cripes, Suzette!: I Feel Like Chicken Tonight

subtitled:

In Which I Abandon My Plans

for Fancy Collars and Enameled ID Tags

Stedman had a bath today and I snapped this picture immediately afterwards to cement evidence of the brief span of time when his white parts are still white, his ears are not full of dirt and there are no bits of sticks jammed between his teeth.

This one is a real dog. I had visions of getting him a striking yet classy collar done up in orange and blue striped ribbon, with a coordinating enameled ID tag - because if we lose our capacity to accesorize, what will then seperate us from the apes? But now I see that he is more the basic canine type who lives to stick his head into gopher holes, bark manically and chew up the woodchips from the flowerbeds. (Also, a little bit of wallpaper and sheetrock from the kitchen wall, but I'm trying to forget that.)

Our neighbors just got a new puppy - a 10 week old Bichon Frise - who was created to be accesorized. She's about the size of a Beanie Baby but way, way cuter. She's been around for a week and so far, she's only got a matching hot pink collar and leash, but I can see many happy years of blingy apparel shopping ahead. As much as I would love to doll up my dog in a similar fashion, I know that for him, it's going to be clear-eyed shopping for appropriate dogly attire only. No going overboard with more than one collar option at a time, no purchases that could be interpreted as sissyfying him and in general, not much fun at all.

He's almost outgrown his little puppy collar. This is the collar that we've pretty much chosen for him. If not by training, then by osmosis! The only deciding left to do is the color option. I'm leaning towards olive green. His ID tag will be a utilitarian brass rectangle.

But whatever. It's not about me. I'll have to content myself by keeping him supplied with squeaking rubber chickens. I think that it would be okay if I welcomed little Fiona Joy to the neighborhood by getting her something suitably girly, like a nice little doggie pocketbook. I can't make up my mind between the Chewy Vuitton or the Kate Spayed. Anyway, it's still all rugged plastic poultry and shredded magazines on this side of the fence.

Be sure to tune in for next week's exciting episode in our continuing series Keeping Up With the Boneses: "Their Dog Has A Middle Name And Ours Doesn't"

Comments

Come to Pa. little man and ChoChi Tina will buy you nice meaty bones with the yummy stuff inside from Wegman's. Ptooo on the rubber chicken !

Posted by: tina | August 17, 2008 at 04:51 PM

Is that a chicken or Sesame Street's Big Bird?

I haven't been able to see that character the same way since the local Thai restaurant* began serving ostrich billed as "Big Bird".
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* Home of the World's Rudest Maitre'd.

Posted by: The Proprietor | August 17, 2008 at 05:42 PM

The blue and orange, Go Gators! colors are lovely, but yeah, don't seem to complement his natural ensemble. I like the olive green collar. Maybe you just need to shop for camo and commando style accessories for the tough little guy.

Posted by: Joan of Argghh! | August 17, 2008 at 07:19 PM