I Just Flew In From Nashville And Boy, Does My Wool Sweater Smell Like A French Whore

Nashville!  It rained, it froze, it flurried and all the while the pool and hot tub were open. But there were grits, so it wasn't all bad.

Let me ask you something - Let's say that you were wearing a merino wool Fisherman Knit  sweater that has the unfortunate smell of lanolin under the even best circumstances. That same sweater wet smells like the  sheep it came from. Now if you had that sweater stretched out on the sofa in your room to dry, how would you like it if housekeeping thought they were doing you a favor by Febreezing it without your knowledge or consent? Hmmm?

Things I learned this week:

• The North had the factories, the money and the military manpower but the South had the generals. This was relayed to me by a cab driver who told me that he was a "Civil War butt". I'm still not sure if he meant to be funny .

• The stickers on produce have a coded number that tells you the method of cultivation:

• A four-digit number means it's conventionally grown.
• A five-digit number beginning with 9 means it's organic
• A five-digit number beginning with 8 means it's genetically modified.

Good to know in case I am not feeling like inviting Ag-Chem to dinner or munching on a tomato with fish genes spliced into it.

• James Gandolfini, the actor,  has a house in New Jersey horse country that's much bigger than the one Tony Soprano, the gavonne, lived in.

Comments

[pops]

Two thoughts -

- Allegedly Frebreeze (and what kind of name is that?) works well on pet odors, but that assumes the user thought your sheep had rubbed up against your sweater trying to get some attention.

- The maid's name was Edwina and Edwina needs to take the first step and admit she's powerless when it comes to using Febreeze.

And yes "butt" is the correct term. The larger question is who's worse - Civil War buffs or the people who put on those medieval fairs?

Hey what's sexier than the plague?

Suzette says:"I thought it was nervy of Edwina to spray my sweater and it is doubly aggravating to me because it took me a while to recognize that the cloying floral scent was coming from me. I was sitting next to the someone and thinking that she could use some advice on how to choose perfume."

[Teresa]

I hate the smell of Febreeze I realize this puts me in a minority of people - but it just doesn't smell right to me. I hope the dry cleaner or a good soak in Woolite can get the smell out for you.

Interesting on the numbered produce. I'm sure I'll try looking when I get to the store and I'll forget which is which thus becoming genetically modified conventionally organic in my choice of food.

Suzette says:" I'm with you I can't stand cover-up fragrances. Put Carpet Fresh and Glade on that list, too."

[dogette]

I'm a Colonial period butt myself.

Suzette says: "I already knew you were a butt."

[DogsDontPurr]

Wow...was that really an appearance by the mysterious Dogette?! Dogette Dogette! Where has your site gone? Are you gone or am I just locked out? I beg of you, please please, let me back in.

Oops, sorry, Suzette. I didn't mean to hijack your comments for my own personal use. But I really do miss the daily dose of Dogette.

[Bob]

Typical Southern simplification. By 1864, the North had the generals, too. Next part of the conversation is when they say it wasn't really about slavery. It was.

[Tina]

The only place to use Febreeze is ummmmm... NOWHERE> Although Mr. Stinky Butt uses it to cover up you know what in the you know where.

[Ree]

That is the best title I've read all week!

[The Proprietor]

Mr. Gandolfini used to abide in nearby Bedminster. Very horsey. But I heard he sold it after his divorce.