What Would Jackie Do?

Er, uh ... Jackie? It's me, Ted.

You again? Leave me alone - I'm dead. By the way, Mary Jo said that if I should ever hear from you, she's got a message for you. She wants to know w...."

Er, uh ... I know, I know. Never mind that. - Wait, don't hang up! I have a matter of great importance to discuss with you. That rat bastard Clinton ignored my warning when I told him to simmer down and go along with the program. Now he has to pay.

Oh Ted. Haven't I been exposed to enough selfish womanizers? All I want now is peace and quiet and to sit around with Oleg Cassini.You'd think it would be different where I am now, but I haven't see Ari for days and Maria Callas is missing, too. And  now that I think of it, where's Marilyn? Jack ... Jack? Bobby?

Er, uh ... these hicks from Arkansas have gone too far this time. They never did catch on to how it's done. They're so proud of how they hoodwink and bamboozle the voting public that they can't keep it to themselves. In terms of manipulation, shady deals and public devotion, no one can top the Kennedys.  We work behind the scenes and only a small circle of insiders understands how we do it.

* yawn * Must I endure these old family stories, too?

Er, uh ... They don't call us a clan for nothing. We need a high -profile Kennedy to stick it right back to the Clintons for not falling in line. We want to use your name to liken that other guy to Jack and then put the Kennedy family imprimatur on him. That should  fix their hillbilly wagons. Er, uh ...  we'd use young Joe but frankly, it's all he can do to keep Chavez covered.

I do so appreciate your thinking of me, but it is with deeply regret that I must decline your kind offer. It would be most unseemly for me or anyone else from my immediate family to do this. And , by the way, don't you think it's just a little too unsubtle? The public won't be fooled - they'll remember that it was just last week that you took Bill to school about his behavior. They'll understand that this is an orchestrated payback.

Er, uh ... why would the public smarten up now? If the Democrats have one thing going for them, it's the ability to tug on the emotional strings of the people. Evidence never matter! And facts - don't make me laugh.

Well, I'm not doing it.My reputation is solid class. Do you think I'd jeopardize that with a ham-handed move like this? People thought I was soft and only interested in fashion. Do you think that I got to where I am without a plan, and believe me, buster - I outsmarted plenty of people in my time. I'm too smart for a stunt like this. Get someone else - Ethel has a lot of free time.

Er, uh ... Ethel!? We tried that last year - it wasn't worth a damn.

He's so adorable.

 

 

Er, uh ... And you know what a pushover she is for a smooth talking rascal.

Well, I won't do it. In fact, I can't even think of anyone who'd be dumb enough to go along with this transparent plan.

I'll do it.

Don't worry. honey.  Er, uh ... Uncle Teddy will tell you just what to say.

Caroline Kennedy Endorses Obama

 

Comments

[Tina]

Your amazing insight should have a national televised platform! Absolutely smashing bit of political insight!
Who can I send this to in the media where it can get the international/national attention it deserves.

You certainly got a nose for politics, Virg.

[Jim - PRS]

Primo!!

[Joan of Argghh!]

Hell's Belles, woman! This is a work of art!

And so glad to know that Jackie's still hanging out with the right kinds of people.

Awesome.

[Susie]

Indeed, you are a genius! No brag...just fact!

[pops]

While this post is a work of genius I must point out that Mom and I are not swayed by anything the Kennedy clan has to say. The two of us are still contractually obligated to do whatever Alec Baldwin tells us to do through 2009.

My apologies for any misunderstanding this might have caused.

[dogette]

'. . . and to sit around with Oleg Cassini."

ROFLMAO

[Rex]

very good!

[Gecko]

Hah! Brilliant.