Cripes, Suzette!: Fritter-Mania

Now look - I don't want to tell you what to do, but with all the turkey frenzy* going on now, would it be unpatriotic to suggest that the pilgrims had other things on the table besides fowl?

I'm just saying that I think one should always serve corn during the Thanksgiving Feast because it was corn that saved the pilgrims from starvation**. Please don't bother trying to correct me or straighten me out about the facts because I prefer to keep my memories slightly fuzzy.

Anyway, corn. So I always did put corn on the table: frozen niblets, which no one ate; minicorn cobs, which no one ate; corn bread, which no one ate; corn, zucchini and tomatoes seasoned with oregano, which only a few put on their plates and then ignored. So, Q: what to do? A: corn fritters.

Corn fritters? Of course! I'll take a basic recipe and jazz it up a little bit with sliced scallions and red pepper flakes and it should be just right. Maybe I'll dollop some sour cream on top of it and the Lithuanians will feel just like its Turkey Day in Vilkaviskis.

It won't do much for the Egyptians that are there, though.

Thanksgiving Fritters

2 cans whole kernel corn, drained

2 eggs, seperated

2-3 tablespoons flour

sliced scallions

dried red pepper flakes

sale and pepper

1. Preheat large pan on medium-high heat and add oil and butter.

2. Meanwhile, put corn and egg yolks into a bowl. Mix. Then add flour, red pepper flakes, salt and pepper. Fold in scallions.

3. Beat egg whites until stiff. Gently fold them into corn.

4. Gently put big spoonfuls of the corn mixture into the hot pan. Lower heat and cook for 3-5 minutes until golden. Turn and cook on the other side until golden.

5. Drain on paper towels or, for the environmentally conscious, brown paper bags.

6. Garnish with a small dollop of sour cream and more sliced scallions.

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*Of course, in Mr. Sam's case, it's more of a stuffed grape leaf-baklava-rice pudding frenzy. Emphasis on the frenzy. Really, more like a FRENZY! Just stay out of the way.

**Specifically, it was a combination of corn and fish, if I recall my 5th grade history. I can still see that illustration of a formally dressed pilgrim bending over to plunck a dead fish into a shallow hole next to a mature corn plant, all under the watchful eye of a wise Indian. The Indian was half-naked as if he was Western Plains instead of Eastern Shore, where he surely would have frozen long before the Pilgrims ever got there if he really did dress like that.