Cripes, Suzette!

Moving Day

I'm leaving and setting up someplace else.

And I'm taking something to eat with me.

This site will remain open until late October when my paid account runs out. A prudent person would change their bookmarks RIGHT NOW just in case I go into a snit and erase the whole operation here.

Ailments

Here are my physical issues:

• I have some disease that started with a runny nose and sore throat and progressed to burning lungs and fever within the space of 24 hrs. Whatever could it be?
• I also have some kind of itchy bumps on my legs possibly related to standing in the shrub bed pulling weeds last week.
• Now I can feel small ridgy bumps on my back which might be hives or might be imprints from the couch cushion, which would be no less irritating.

Those were aliments but I also have issues. First, i used to have excessive ear wax in one ear and now suddenly I don't. I don't miss it but I am somewhat alarmed at the sudden change.

Now this is the thing: I cannot for the life of me cut my left master toenail at the correct angle. I like, as you all know, a neat straight cut across the toenails, and no matter how carefully plan it, the left master toenail always ends up cut at an angle.It LOOKS straight until I stand up and then boom, it's slopes off at a 25 degree angle. You have to admit that's pretty extreme.  I have deduced that it's due to the way I hold my toe when I'm clipping but I can't seem to correct it. 

Also, and note this well my friends -  it takes some kind of serious scrubbing to get the remnants of Vick's Vaporub off of you once you're done with it.

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

it might be just that I'm sick and feverish, but Huffington Post is my go-to place for a good laugh.

1.  Suri Cruise wears high heels. She's 4.

Although the caption for this photo should really be "Suri Cruise Doesn't Have a Hairbrush"

2. Mackenzie Phillips' brother reacts to the news that she will drop a bombshell of family secrets on Oprah today:

"My family is and always will be a decrepit bowl of dog urine compared to Nityananda of Ganeshpuri. That is how great Nityananda is." The Indian yogi died in 1961. "Wor ship Nityananda, not the Phillips family. Nityananda can protect you," said Tamerlane.

Who wants to see a decrepit bowl of dog urine dropped on Oprah instead?

3. From our department of We're Just Gonna Keep Doing This Until We Get It Right:

After last month's failed attempt at recreating past presidential scenes - that ill-advised scene of a young girl stretched out on the Oval Office carpeting that turned out to be more reminiscent of Clinton/Lewinsky than JFK/John John, Barry tries it again by joyfully hefting up Sanchez upon his arrival home from a talk show  media blitz.

Really, this kid is about is about 4 years past her freshness date for "cute" and she's what?- 120 standing still? How much force do you think she worked up running towards dear old dad? Love that grimace on the doting father as he braces for the impact. Hernia city!

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/22/mackenzie-phillips-oprah_n_294479.html

Maybe It's A Cold. Maybe It's eBay Disease.

I'm sick and I've been resting in bed all day.

In a bedroom that has a computer in it.

And when I got up, I had to walk right past the computer.

So I bought these:

Acquired Knowledge

Here's a tip: if you looking for vintage sherbet glasses on eBay, you would do well to also search for "sherbert" glasses.

The Way I'm Not

I like to record older movies on TCM and watch them with my daughter. This is good for her because it gives me a chance to explain what the big hullabaloo was about back in the day over a movie star, a time in history or a specific topic. This is also bad for her because it's not her idea of a good time and she would be perfectly happy if I just left this part of our relationship alone. I like to think that I'm broadening her in a way that won't happen through any other avenue of exposure and she knows I like to do it. So she tolerates me.

This week's movie was The Way We Were.    I only saw the movie once and in all the years since 1973 til now, I never had the urge to see it again. I remember it as a mediocre chick flick and my main takeaways were:

• it's not really plausible that Barbra Streisand would leave Robert Redford because her wanted her to stop being a communist for the sake of his career, but oh-kaaaay I guess it could happen.
• Barbra had long, weird fingernails that shot out unattractively from the ends of her fingers in several different directions.

Now that I saw it again, it is clear to me that Robert Redford is a real shortie and probably needed a box to stand on so that he wasn't standing in the shadow of her giant hairdo.Their direct dialog scenes "together" are filmed with the  camera look at either one or the other of them - Robert directs his eyes downward; Barbra directs her eyes downward to give the impression that he is taller than she is. The TCM bumper around this movie revealed that Barbra's part was written specifically for her. That explains a lot. Everything about the contemporary Barbra is right there. She has not changed a whit.

The two big things that my daughter picked up were:

• there's not a single musical note in this entire picture that is not part of the title song
• Barbra Streisand is a desperately needy person

She left halfway through and even though I called her back to see the big ending, she remained unimpressed. For my part, it struck me that RR was a pretty good actor.  I never paid much attention to his work beyond his pretty freckled face but really he wasn't half bad. Especially comapred to Barbra One Note, who plays the same character as in Funny Girl and Yentl - the highly-principled outsider who forces her way against the societal grain into someplace she has a hankering to be.

I see that 2001: A Space Oddessy is coming up this week. As we were cruising through the channel  guide, I was just about to hit the record button when my daughter reminded me that we had already seen it together. "We did? What did you think of it?" I asked her. "I don't know," she said, "you were talking  thorough the whole thing."

I think that was a dig.

Example

Michelle Obama: Health Care is a Women's Issue

World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ and Big Expert on Health Care Michelle Obama has taken to the stump to promote health care reform as a woman's issue. As with everything else she does, her actions speak louder than her words. Here she is demonstrating her personal health care routine to a group of young schoolgirls.

Pop Culture Ruins Everything For Me

One of the main things I like about my Blackberry is that I can use music clips as ringtones. The one I selected for incoming calls is Rick James' Superfreak. It's very energizing and puts me in the right mood to interact with the callers. Now some dopey bank commercial is playing nonstop on TV using the song and I just don't feel that I can continue listening to it as my ring tone.

As if that wasn't bad enough, listen to this: I have dedicated ringtones for most of my frequent callers and the one I use for the person who calls most often and usually with some urgent end-of-the-world information is Midnight Oil's Beds Are Burning, not for the political message but for the "better jump up and start running" image that it calls up for me to imagine my mattress is aflame.

But now look - Celebs to Sing Song to Stop Global Warming

"British rock group Duran Duran and heavy metal band Scorpions are among 55 world celebrities who have joined in recording a song to draw attention to the global warming crisis, organisers said on Monday. The song is part of a mass media campaign on the threats of climate change organised by the Geneva-based Global Humanitarian Forum, headed by former UN secretary general Kofi Annan. The song [is] entitled "Beds'r Burning", which was originally recorded by the Australian group Midnight Oil in the 1980s,"

Can't they just leave me alone? As you know, I'm not copier. Furthermore, when people copy me, I move on. I wasn't done with Beds Are Burning just yet, but now I'm going to have to drop it. I'm thinking of replacing it with a clip from the clean version of Hollaback Girl :

Let me hear you say, this shhh is bananas
B. A. N. A. N. A. S.
This shhh is bananas
B. A. N. A. N. A. S.

Question: How long until some baby food company uses this for commercial purposes and ruins it for me?

My Love Affair With Bullet Points, Part 87

1. Health

• I got a flu shot today.
• I had to pay the full $25.00 because I didn't know there was a "$3.00 off!" coupon.
• The "Dr." didn't wash her hands before she started handling all my stuff

2. Dog

• The dog bit through his leash the last time he went to the groomers.
• He what?

3. Dog Part 2

• The dog does not like the deluxe swimming pool that Sami found on a trash pile one garbage day. It's got a slide, a little town to drive cars around on, a cup holder, a hole where a sprinkler thing used to be  and a little corner seat. What else could a dog want in a pool?
• Barking at his out-of-reach ball is as much as he does with it there.
• The county I live in has two dog beaches. I guess that's out as a recreation for us. which is a durned shame because there's no charge to go there. Unlike the human beaches. Did you know you can't just walk onto a beach in NJ? It's going to cost you.
• All he wants is to be powerwashed right in the face by the JETSTREAM setting on the hose nozzle.

Boss of Sandwiches

If I were in charge of diner sandwiches, this is how I would construct a Ruben:

• I would cut the corned beef into 1" x 1/4" pieces and mix it with the sauerkraut in a proportion of 3/5 corned beef to 2/5 sauerkraut. 
• then I would make sure that the swiss cheese was the same volume as the meat/kraut mixture
• gawd, I love a bullet point, don't you?
• the rest of the sangwich, I would leave alone. No recommended changes for the rye toast or the thousand island dressing

The above information is instructional in nature. Take it or leave it, as you like. I'm only saying what I would do if I was the boss of sandwiches. The following information is a warning of a dire nature.

The American sandwich culture is under attack. No, not attack - it's more subversive that that. You sheep! You unaware fools! Do you not see that your open-armed embrace of paninis is killing off the free pickle and cole slaw that everyone has come to expect as their due when ordering a sandwich?

Go ahead - google up some images of paninis. What do you see on the plates there? Carrot sticks, black olives, arugula. And you'd be lucky to get that. Oh, sure, if you look hard enough, you might come across a few panini makers with the decency to include that occasional pickle but I assure you that they are a dying breed.

You might think that I'm being overly cautious about calling that blue thing a thing instead of what might turn out to be a napkin, but you are reading the words of someone who once bit into a sugar-covered plastic bell from a wedding cake. Ever since then, I don't take anything for granted.

It's in your hands now, readers. Order your paninis - I can't shovel against the eroding tide. Go ahead but at least ask for a free pickle and cole slaw even if you don't eat it so you don't ruin it for the rest of us.

I Love Vintage Glassware. Who's With Me Here?

This is an update to the post about searching for a martini glass that suits my personality better than a plain long stemmed V.

Alert the media - a decision has been made and a purchase completed. I'm going to show it to you, but I want you to take a deep breath - maybe get up and walk away for a bit - before you pass judgment. Because it's ... sort of non-traditional.Also, there was only one available so I didn't have the opportunity to buy multiple multiples, which I totally would have even though I only needed one.

Let me describe it to you first:

• it's glass, not crystal
• it's molded, not blown or cut
• the design is fussy, not simple
• it's colorful, not clear
• it's not even a cocktail glass
• or a wine glass
• or a sherry glass

I couldn't help it - it was just like when MIchael Corleone was hit with the thunderbolt when he saw Appolonia. He just knew it was right. And that's how it was with me and the glass. And it does have the most important characteristics that I was after:

• it's short
• it holds a small volume
• it's vintage

Can you picture it?

Ready?

Ok. Here it is:

Ta-da!

Isn't it swell?

It's an Indiana Glass Kings Clear Crown Blue Flash Sherbet Dish, a rare color, so I'm told. Looks like a good match for a bottle of Bombay Sapphire, doesn't it? The size is 3 1/8" tall x 3 5/8" wide. The eBay auction didn't list the volume, but I'm guessing from the dimensions and the bowl-to-base ratio that it's 5-ish ounces.

It was love at first sight.

And The Title Is " Punished With A Barry "

 Documentray To Focus on Obama's Mother

"Stanley Ann Dunham: A Most Generous Spirit" would go into production next year, with an expected 2011 release, executive producer Mary Aloe says. It's unknown yet whether it would air on television or appear in theaters.