There's a lot of speculation right now about who will fill Ted Kennedy's Senate seat until the special election in January '10. Most of the money rides on the WEED-oh. Someone from another country answered me just that way when I asked about marital status. It has never left me. Is it not so much more musical than WID-oh?
I'm not so sure. I think there are several women who would be equally suitable. Take, for instance, the following list:
World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ Michelle Obama. She is certainly capable of filling Ted's shoes. In fact, she might even surpass the mark that Ted made - on the Brannock Device. She's actually not a bad pick for this. She's already familiar with where Boston and Martha's Vineyard are - what else is Massachusetts is she likely to be interested in anyway? No one would dare get in front of that purposeful stride of hers to stop her and - bonus!- she's already girlfriends with Teresa Heinz Kerry, wife of the other US Senator from MA. Think of the soireés they could have together- with Teresa's money and Teresa's taste and MO's ... uh, ...well, whatever. Soireés. Or maybe Big Mo and Big JFK-no-the-other-one could do a Tour of the Giants, going around the state making some kind of half-hearted food-policy statement by harvesting some organic cranberries or perhaps a public beheading of an organic turkey for Thanksgiving. Teresa and Barry could stay home and bond by reminiscing about the good old days when they lived in Africa. The more I think about it, the better this idea sounds. She'd be a shoe-in. (Har!)
Natasha Fatale. Uh-oh. Does anybody else smell BATTLE OF THE WINE-BOTTLE SHAPED WOMEN WITH PURPLE DRESSES AND BARE ARMS? This bold section carries some risk of a big Mo backlash but would be worth it because of her obvious connections to the Russians. Back in the 80s, American hero Ted Kennedy was pretty busy conspiring with our Cold War enemy, the Soviet Union, against the interests of the United States government. What a guy, huh? In the end, the Ruskies didn't go for it, but dollink with an insider like Natasha, Ted Kennedy's life work of treason could be carried on.
Aunt Zeituni. Talk about your Boston insider! Here we have a little old lady, emigrating (more or less) from a poverty-stricken country, doesn't know anybody or how anything works when she lands here and in a very short time has managed to redirect good deal of American tax dollars for her benefit, complete with subsidized housing, a hip replacement and lottery tickets. This is one smart cookie - if she managed all that on her own flying under the radar of the law, imagine what she could accomplish with the state of Massachusetts behind her. Look at that picture taken as she emerged from the courtroom after her successful deportation challenge - she instinctively turned herself into a Kennedy-esque red head without even knowing there'd be some kind of Irish-related opportunity in her future. You can't learn that - you have to be born with that kind of intuition. Of course, her obvious familial connections don't hurt, either.
Chelsea Clinton. Oh, wise and all knowing Interent - please let this one be true! It's too delicious. Have you heard about all the hubub going on right now for what is rumored to be Chelsea Clinton's imminent wedding? Guess where? CHAPPAQUIDDICK. Burn! Would this not be the icing on the big fat Kennedy fail cake if the whole of the MSM was forced to report a triumph of the Clintons at a location that they could not help but tie to Teddy's cowardly actions and subsequent cover-up in 1969? Maybe not the best choice among the herd here, but she's be a fairly good pick. She's got the Let's Ruin American Healthcare gene from her mom, her dad's philandering gene while dormant in her must be able to signal somehow to the people of Massachusetts who seem to admire that so much, and when the time comes to vote on the healthcare bill, she could probably activate the YES button with that expression alone.