FYI - Nashville is not all that bad, humidity-wise, this week. replay from November 28, 2007
How to insure a good reading on your scale:
- Weigh yourself only in the morning after you have gone to the bathroom.
- Weigh yourself completely naked.
- Never weigh your self with wet hair.
- Never surprise the scale by jumping onto it. This will cause a falsely high reading. You should gently place one foot on the scale platform and slowly transfer your weight while sneaking your other foot onto the platform.
- Never weigh yourself after running up the stairs, exercising or otherwise inducing a pounding heartbeat. Vigorus heart action I'm quite sure is refected in the amount of pressure on the scale.
- If you should somehow dehydrate yourself thru exercise, prolonged exposure to the sun or an attempt at alcoholism, ignore Rule #1 and weigh yourself to see what your body "really" weighs without all that pesky circulating volume bogging you down.
- Flip the switch on the bottom of the scale to have your scale read out in kilograms.
How to account for a less than ideal reading on the scale:
- Subtract all items of food and drink that you have recently consumed. (1 10-oz. mug of coffee is 1/2 pound (the same volume of carbonated beverage is 3/4 pound because of the pressure exerted by all that fizz ) / a modest lunch is 2 pounds / a full supper is three pounds and if you have had a big tumbler if iced tea with it, then you are free to speculate to your heart's content.
- Predict what you would have weighed if only you didn't eat the dessert that someone forced on you.
- Say the magic word: bloat (applies to women only).
- Reposition yourself closer to the middle, front or sides of the scale platform to see if that gives you a differnt reading.
- Review your 24 hour food intake to scrutinize for high-sodium foods that have resulted in temporary water retention.
- Blame a stuck pattern of weight loss on all that damn exercise which has surely resulted in increased muscle mass. So even if you are losing fat weight, the scale will read higher because you are so muscular now that your smaller body is bearing down on the scale.
- Determine which phase of the moon we are in to attempt making a case for fluctutating gravitational pull.
How to avoid getting your hopes up:
- If you should get a very good reading, don't assume it is true. Try not to expect too much.
- Don't extrapolate your weight loss during the first days of your diet to the rest of your life. Example: just because you have lost three pounds overnight (you weighed yourself at night, didn't you?) doesn't mean that by Christmas, you will be 269 pounds lighter.
- Remind yourself that even Oprah had to take a couple of stabs at it until she got it right. And she has servants and stuff to shop and cook for her and she doesn't have to go into the kitchen and find someone else's subversive PopTarts looking her right in the eye.