Dateline: Buckingham Palace: Fast thinking by the beloved British monarch averted what could have easily become an international scandal. Queen Elizabeth had the bad luck to be in the presence of this same giantess earlier in the day when a most unfortunate situation occurred.
During the initial meeting which included both spouses, the behemoth sent forth a mighty wind which blew Prince Philip quite out of camera frame center and caused the poor man to turn an unearthly color out of sheer fright. As can be seen in the photo below, the full experience of the horrible aftermath is told by the poor man's sunken eyes. Although the queen was forewarned of the likelihood of such an occurance, neither she nor Prince Phillip recognized the telltale body language that accompanies the putrid stench.
According to confidential briefings done by M5 on a need-to-know basis, the enormous she-beast in question typically signals the onset of the malodorous emission by either of two mannerisms: in the case of lesser threat, she will squeeze her right eye almost shut. In the more dangerous Level 2 eruption, she widens her stance to balance herself against the force of the blast.
Recognizing the impending Level 2 flatulence posture, the plucky little sovereign moved quickly to stop the emission, thereby sparing her subjects the full impact of the assault on their senses. Sadly, only the olfactory sense was spared. Unfortunately, nothing could be done to save them from the sight of this blatant attempt to engulf the tiny queen by any possible means.
Plays It Himself
So pleased was he with the sucess of his gift to Queen Elizabeth of an iPod filled with pictures of himself and audio recordings of his speeches, the Coolest President Ever™ continued the theme of a musical gift for other monarchs that he met on his first official European tour.
Displaying previously unrevealed talents, he surprised the international gathering by releasing something he had been working up especially for the Saudi king. The photo below captures the audience reaction to the solo performance of music fit for a king, a piece entitled "Barack".