Cripes, Suzette!

Ask Michelle Obama's Chin

History was made last night.

World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ Michelle Obama  became the first first lady in history to curse on television.

" First Lady Michelle Obama, seated behind and above Wilson, seemed to mouth a drawn-out "damn" at the scene unfolding before her."

No  - couldn't be! A classy dame like her? No way. Let's ask Michelle Obama's Chin:

Today's Question: You said what? 

Michelle Obama's Chin replies:

Even Hillary knew better than that.

Chin Wagging with Michelle Obama

Many of you have lost confidence in main stream media reporting and just don't know what to believe anymore. Where can you turn when you want reliable information and answers to the questions of the day? Why, to Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ Michelle Obama, of course!

You already know that she's the most beautiful first lady ever but did you know that she's done a little bit of everything? The sum total of all the things that make her special is too much for mere mortals to bear all at once, but fortunately, her individual parts are each separately qualified to set an example for America and the world.

And so today we launch a new public service feature here at Cripes,  Suzette! called ASK MICHELLE OBAMA'S CHIN. Michelle Obama's chin is not only more beautiful than yours but you can absolutely depend on the truthfulness and accuracy of  the answers to your questions because she's done a little bit of everything.

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ASK MICHELLE OBAMA'S CHIN.

Today's Question: Is it true that when you were coming out of high school and going into college, you had to had to work all the time because you had to have enough money for books for the year, and  to help out with tuition?

 In fact, my experience as a dog trainer is the reason that my dog Bo seems so well-behaved. Because we're a special family and he's our dog that means he's special, too. Special dogs require special training and so I used my own unique dog training methods which I will share with you now.

First, you have to have a chat with the business end of a dog to let them know who's the boss. You can see in the photo below  that I am displaying my special Chin of Smug Satisfaction expression after a very successful session with Bo when he learned just who is the boss of his little puppy ass.

 

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Next - and this step is crucial - you spin him around and give him the terrorist fist bump right on the noggin to make sure he got the message.

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Now we're ready to walk. I like to employ my special leash-holding technique to be sure to maximize the pleasure of the beast/master relationship. I can feel it right down to my fingertips when that dog starts to move!  FYI - I used my skills  to train the rest of the family to stay out of my camera shot. Smiling Chin of Center Spotlight!

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As you can see, the dog is completely under control. I find it gives one a greater health benefit (that's funny - right, Barack? Like anyone is actually going to benefit from your health care plan!) to have the dog do more of a lunge than a walk. Follow along behind in a slightly crouched position with both arms extended until the leash handle starts to cramp up your fingers into a painful little cone. Not for beginners!

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Finally, to reward yourself for all of your hard work, have a bit of fun by turning the dog over to a beginner but don't tell him anything about how to hold the leash or anything else about how to control a dog. This is  a two-part process: (1) turn over dog (2) push impudent daughter out of photo frame. Try your best to make it one smooth move.

 

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Think to yourself "Now let's see Desiree Rogers whisper into your ear like that again, Barry my boy" while displaying Chin of Mirth.