Ted Kennedy gets buried today. Not the off-the-shelf casket for our Teddy - not that he could fit in one anyway. A custom-ordered, designed-to-fit model has been standing at the ready ever since Ted ran out of treatment options to buy for his inoperable- yet operated on - brain tumor.
(coffin image courtesy of The Proprietor)
Kennedy's longtime friend and fuck buddy, Chris Dodd , wondered aloud of good old Ted was alone in there. He reminisced about the good old days when they shared waitresses out in the open and expressed admiration for Ted's ability to carry on even when sealed up for eternity.
Following a funeral mass at Our Lady of Perpetual Payola, Kennedy will be transported to Washington to be buried in the sacred ground of Arlington National Cemetary, over the objections of the ground itself. The dirt is of the opinion that the feculence that is the rotting corpse of the filthy and despicable Kennedy is even dirtier than the dirt and would only lower the standard and reputation of the muck and mire.