TurnNow in three parts: Wallpaper Mural, Mother of the Bride and Trannyvision.
Wallpaper Mural. The woman has lost her mind.
Don't worry - I'll get to my detailed analysis of MO's two Inauguration Day outfits. I'm sure you've all seen them and have your own opinions about whether they were good or bad. Personally, I thought they were stunning, in the fullest cattle-prod sense of the word. Don't taze me, MO!
But you may not have seen what she wore on Day 2
Now I'm pretty good at explaining fashion photos but I think somebody is going to have to explain this one to me.
Mother of the Bride. Now what was she thinking with that yellow horror that she pulled out for her first appearance as first lady? Much has been made of her "strong sense of personal style" and her preference for classic and tasteful clothing but if inauguration day is any example, that is out the window. Her admirers stumbled all over themselves to praise her outfits on this day and finally settled on the new rightspeak to proclaim that she is "eclectic and fashion-forward"and she has "an independent approach to style", "makes daring choices", "stands out in a crowd" and displays young, fresh look" and so on along that vein. As if that could convince anyone that this outfit was a winner. Coupla things ... young designers make clothes for young people. And Michelle is not young. She turned 45 this week - probably a tad past the point where you want to be experimenting with 20-something designers. 20-something designers have 20-somethings ideas that are best left to 20-something wearers.
So many questions! The first thing we have to ask is didn't she see it before it was time to put it on Tuesday morning?To say it was not flattering is an understatement. The color, called everything from celadon to lemongrass to a hope/changey "maize", did not suit her complexion. The silhouette was shapeless, the hemline hit her leg at the widest part, the lining was lumpy and a disturbing bright white. coat was held supposed to be held closed by sheer ribbons, but she spent the day fussing with it and trying to keep those ribbons tied as it flapped open and blew away from her body as she pounded down Pennsylvania Avenue. Even closed, the cardigan underneath stuck out and was a distraction.
The assortment of materials textures and adornments in this one single outfit boggles the mind: Swiss wool lace, metallic fabric underlayment, pashmina, crystals, chiffon, netting, buttons, ribbons and silk. The sum total looked less Jackie O and more Mrs. Estes Kefauver. "Give me something real fancy!" Don't even mention the clashing greens of the gloves and shoes - so bad they refused to appear in the same camera frame together. And then, because there was not enough visual interest going on, she added an antique Victorian paste sash pin to the neckline.
Even more horrifying is what it looked like when got indoors and she took that coat off.
Here she is galumping towards the Linconesque luncheon and slumping in her chair. Does this look like a fresh young fashion forward outfit or is it more like something you'd see your old Aunt Gladys wearing at a cousin's wedding?
Trannyvision. As if that wasn't enough for one day, she shows up in this prize package for the balls.
Turns out her "stylist" is the woman who owns MO's favorite Chicago boutique. That explains a lot because it sure does seem like these two outfits were far better suited to hang on a mannequin rather than on a moving human being. She spent the daytime yanking that coat back into place and the nighttime trying not to trip over the bottom of the dreadful toilet paper gown.
Interesting note about the designer of the ballgown: Three people Jason Wu has designed for include drag queen RuPaul, transexual Amanda LePore, and our new First Lady, Michelle Obama.
Closing thoughts. First: obviously, her feet blistered up as she was clomping down Pennsylvania Avenue. You need no further proof than the sight of those well-worn comfy flats she went to church in on Day 2. Second: let's all hope that those little crystal and puff things all over the gown are not detachable othewise we'll be seeing them again pinned onto a cardigan.