Distracted and Lazy, but Mostly Lazy

Instead of inflicting brand new dreck on you all, I'm reposting my previous 1/1 blog entires.

Sad to say that due to an impulse expunging of the original Bob The Corgi archives, 2001-2004 are lost forever. Well, sort of lost. I do have the files on a disc, thanks to my go-to guy for all things internet The Prop but who even knows where that disc is now? and that's a shame because it is crystal clear that the quality of my posts began to decline on day 2 of the blogging experience and the older the posting, the more interesting the tale.

And so unless that disc jumps up from its hiding place and calls out my name, we must make do with only four less-than-scintillating New Year's Day entries. I will now return to my new hobby of downloading free  themes for my new Blackberry.

2005 - The Pee Party where I reveal what I have in common with Elvis.
2006 - The Carnival of New Jersey Bloggers, back when New Jersey was good.
2007 - The end of a good thing. Boo hoo hoo.
2008 - A little flicker of hope that didn't take long to burn itself out.

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2005 - DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME

Along the lines of One Toke Over the Line,  A Bicycle Built For Two and Three Dog Night, I would like to inform you that I had a Two Water Pill Party on New Year's Eve.

I've been taking a mild blood pressure pill for a while now. It's fairly effective and I wouldn't  need it at all if I could keep up a consistant level of exercise. It's main application is hypertension, but the beauty of it is that it's also a mild diruetic. Thin ankles for everybody! I'm fairly concientious about taking it regularly since I've seen the results of ignoring the Demon Hypertension all my professional life. If I had ever skipped a day, I just let it go until the next day rather than risking a too-low blood pressure.

The last time I went for a checkup, I discussed it with the doctor and told her that since my BP was so good, I was sometimes afraid to take the pill for fear of bottoming out. "Oh no" - she said - "it doesn't work like that. You can't bottom out so there is no harm in taking it anyway."

And once she said that, it's been all about the diruetic. In fact, it's been one big pee party around here. Double dosing to reduce eye puffiness, or dosing according to my daily wardrobe choice is now the standard. I generally avoid high sodium foods, but nowI calculate how many water pills it will take to offset the effects of a pizza or a hotdog and dig right in.

And so it was on New year's Eve as Mr. Sam produced a banquet of processed cheese, olives, sausages, crackers, chips and dips. Wot the hell - New Year's,right? And me with a fresh bottle of water pills. Par-tay last night and then double water pills today.

It was a most unwise move.

I spent the day on the sofa with a fever, on the verge of nausea and fearing to move so that I wouldn't prompt a leg cramp - all the results of fluid and electrolyte imbalance from inapproproate use of prescription medication, just like Elvis. But you should see my lovely thin ankles! (This is what my mother must have meant when she said you have to suffer to be beautiful. She was torturing me with a Tonette home permanent at the time, but still - she might have meant this.)

I lolled around all day today and got up only when I had to use the bathroom - double water pills, remember? It comes on one suddenly and the quick movement to get up would unfailingly produce a cramp in my calf. I'd bend slightly forward in pain, fear the next movement , but then catch a glimpse of those lovely ankles, which put me in  a good mood. Step, pain, bend, ankles!, smile. Repeat. All in all, a good day.

So while I wouldn't advise this stunt for anyone else, I do not plan to change my ways. I'm only recording it here because it is New Year's and all, and I plan on being more real about what I write here this year, and I can't think of anything more real than those goddamn leg cramps.

..................................................................................................

2006 - WELCOME 2006

New Year greetings to my faithful readers and other persons of interest.

Breaking news: It's time to hunker down with the first Carnival of the New Jersey Bloggers for the year, hosted by Mr. Bingley who gits-er-done at the surreal Coalition of the Swilling. Dawg!  Our own little community of learners offers up a variety of talking points, junk science and accidents that didn't have to happen for your up-or-down vote.

(Survey Tracks 2005's Most Annoying Phrases)

..................................................................................................

2007 - DRESS BOUTIQUE: NO OO OO OO O OO!

I had some time on my hands today so I thought I'd drive over to the dress boutique to see what was doin'.

If wisdom is the benefit of maturing, then knowing too much is the flip side. Sure, there's a new location and I'm certain it will be somewhat more upscale. But it won't be the same. This is it for the dress boutique. The glory days are over.

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2008 - UPTICK IN THE TREND

So far, on the first day of 2008, I've eaten something healthy (oatmeal) and cleaned something (the tv room after the tree came down). I won't go so far as to say that this is going to be my pattern for the whole year, LET ALONE A RESOLUTION,  but I have to tell you that this is big improvement in behavior compared to the last day of 2007.

2005 - DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME

Along the lines of One Toke Over the Line,  A Bicycle Built For Two and Three Dog Night, I would like to inform you that I had a Two Water Pill Party on New Year's Eve.

I've been taking a mild blood pressure pill for a while now. It's fairly effective and I wouldn't  need it at all if I could keep up a consistant level of exercise. It's main application is hypertension, but the beauty of it is that it's also a mild diruetic. Thin ankles for everybody! I'm fairly concientious about taking it regularly since I've seen the results of ignoring the Demon Hypertension all my professional life. If I had ever skipped a day, I just let it go until the next day rather than risking a too-low blood pressure.

The last time I went for a checkup, I discussed it with the doctor and told her that since my BP was so good, I was sometimes afraid to take the pill for fear of bottoming out. "Oh no" - she said - "it doesn't work like that. You can't bottom out so there is no harm in taking it anyway."

And once she said that, it's been all about the diruetic. In fact, it's been one big pee party around here. Double dosing to reduce eye puffiness, or dosing according to my daily wardrobe choice is now the standard. I generally avoid high sodium foods, but nowI calculate how many water pills it will take to offset the effects of a pizza or a hotdog and dig right in.

And so it was on New year's Eve as Mr. Sam produced a banquet of processed cheese, olives, sausages, crackers, chips and dips. Wot the hell - New Year's,right? And me with a fresh bottle of water pills. Par-tay last night and then double water pills today.

It was a most unwise move.

I spent the day on the sofa with a fever, on the verge of nausea and fearing to move so that I wouldn't prompt a leg cramp - all the results of fluid and electrolyte imbalance from inapproproate use of prescription medication, just like Elvis. But you should see my lovely thin ankles! (This is what my mother must have meant when she said you have to suffer to be beautiful. She was torturing me with a Tonette home permanent at the time, but still - she might have meant this.)

I lolled around all day today and got up only when I had to use the bathroom - double water pills, remember? It comes on one suddenly and the quick movement to get up would unfailingly produce a cramp in my calf. I'd bend slightly forward in pain, fear the next movement , but then catch a glimpse of those lovely ankles, which put me in  a good mood. Step, pain, bend, ankles!, smile. Repeat. All in all, a good day.

So while I wouldn't advise this stunt for anyone else, I do not plan to change my ways. I'm only recording it here because it is New Year's and all, and I plan on being more real about what I write here this year, and I can't think of anything more real than those goddamn leg cramps.

..................................................................................................

2006 - WELCOME 2006

New Year greetings to my faithful readers and other persons of interest.

Breaking news: It's time to hunker down with the first Carnival of the New Jersey Bloggers for the year, hosted by Mr. Bingley who gits-er-done at the surreal Coalition of the Swilling. Dawg!  Our own little community of learners offers up a variety of talking points, junk science and accidents that didn't have to happen for your up-or-down vote.

(Survey Tracks 2005's Most Annoying Phrases)

..................................................................................................

So far, on the first day of 2008, I've eaten something healthy (oatmeal) and cleaned something (the tv room after the tree came down). I won't go so far as to say that this is going to be my pattern for the whole year, LET ALONE A RESOLUTION,  but I have to tell you that this is big improvement in behavior compared to the last day of 2007.