Ok, now look. I get what the red part is and I get what the pink part is - I even get the purple, pinworms and all. But what is the green part supposed to be?
I have many questions about this get-up. Is it possible that this person got lost on her way to play the eggplant at the elementary school nutrition pageant and some opportunists gave her a sign to hold? Is that smiling face supposed to be one of those born-alive abortions that Obama is so fond of? Is it some kind of outdoor hygiene demonstration? Walking billboard for Summer's Eve on the way to the beach to frolic about? It's all too vague and confusing.
If you ask me, we don't do enough with our vaginas. Yes, they are well suited for the one or two special tasks they were designed for, but what are they doing the rest of the time? I say let's use 'em to pull that lever on November 4th. Maybe they could drive us home afterwards.
The key here is to be specific. If you're going to be carrying around a sign about vaginas, make the message count. Take this one for instance:
This image is several months old and I can no longer remember the protest venue where the sign appeared but as soon as I saw it, I adopted it as my go-to complaint template, customizable for any occaision when I was angry. Just remove the word immigrant and replace it whatever is suitable for the situation. My diligent vagina, my hypertensive vagina, my artistic vagina, and so on. It was fun for a while but now I've dropped the adjective and just go with the generic "my vagina is angry" whenever something annoys me.
The lunch room was abuzz today with nitwit coworkers discussing the campaign coverage on the 12 o'clock news. They made some comment to include me in their sweeping nitwittery and it made my vagina very angry indeed. Then my friend asked me if I was watching the presidential debate tonight and I told her that I couldn't because it made my vagina angry the last time I watched.
I'm going to get myself a sign.