Disturbed

All this run-up to the VP selection is making me anxious. I'm on pins and needles worrying that Obama will select Evan Bayh.

The man has undefined earlobes. Don't pretend that isn't disturbing. How can you look at anything else - say, for instance that insincere smile and those lifeless eyes - when the earlobes distract as they do? Earlobes continue to grow as a person ages so what is going to happen here? Will they grow out sideways instead of just growing long?

See how this is already too distracting? If he's the pick, it's going of spoil a good part of the fun of this highly amusing election season for me. Although he does have a wife named Susan and I would find it pleasant to see Susan Susan Susan in print all over the place.

Speaking of earlobes, have you ever seen the beauties on Martha Stewart? It's a rare photo where she lets them show and if they do show, they usually have some oversize jewelry on them. They're already suitably sized for a Buddha - how much more can they grow? And they're free-hanging, too not attached like Bayh's. I bet they flap in the wind.

LOOSELY RELATED CONTENT: Text Hoaxes Plague Obama VP Plan

Last week, I declared my amusement with the overhauled Wonkette and how  their snarky style appealed to me. I'm almost ready to take it back because it's become clear that they are more like unchecked adolescents than political humorists, but they redeem themselves with stuff like this: instructions and instigation to create fake VP text messages. Gotta love that.

Comments

[pam]

I would like Martha as VP. At least the china pattern would be tasteful.

[Joan of Argghh!]

Gotta be more concerned if said lobes have creases in them or not. Can't elect a VP with creased earlobes, it's indicative of heart disease.

[Elise]

DO NOT GET ME STARTED on undefined earlobes.

Distracting, sure, but more importantly -- MUCH more importantly -- you just can't trust a lobe-less man.

[pops]

Taken as a whole the contents of this post indicate that it was a very slow news day.

I think it's cruel to prank text the participants of The Children's Crusade. It's really no different than watching a snail get all the way across the front walk then picking him up and moving him back to where he started. The poor wretches are possessed of an unnatural almost pathological naivite.(Trust me I've been to the caucuses and I've seen it first hand.) Therefore if you find some one prank texting any of The Junior Senator from Illinois' supporters you should report that person to child protective services.

[dogette]

Weirdlobes. Eck.

[Keith]

In the early seventies, we ended up with a box full of crap magazines from somewhere. I have no idea where they came from. I suspect my parents picked them up from a friend.

Anyway, there was one mag that was full of strange conspiracies, alien abduction stories, and other ESP/alien/psychic bullcorn. One of the articles claimed that you could tell an alien by whether or not the person had free-hanging earlobes or not. I have few specific memories of that magazine, but that's the clearest one.

Naturally, I am always suspicious of anyone without a dangly earlobe. Bayh is undoubtedly of Extraterrestrial origin.