Poor old Priscilla Presley. Here we all thought she wanted to look like that and all the while she was the victim of an unscrupulous doctor/gigolo who promised something better than Botox but actually used low-grade silicon normally used for auto lube. Never approved for injectable use, "the injections cause lumps, paralysis and holes ... Priscilla is currently receiving corrective surgery to fix her face."
Tired of getting the business about her wrinkles and aged appearance, our gal Hill decided to get in on the action, only she had the misfortune of being injected with silicon carbide normally used for plastics and ceramics. These injections caused her face to solidify into a glassy jack o'lantern grimace, ideally suited for both cable news interviews and scaring superdelgates away... Hillary is currently receiving raspy voice lessons from Joan Rivers.
In other celebrity beauty news, Demi Moore reveals the secret to her youthfulness is leech therapy, but not just any leeches - she insists on using "highly trained medical leeches" which, excuse me? but I've been in the medical business for quite a while now and I don't believe I've come across any training programs for leeches. (note to self: investigate leech-related job opportunities)
Hillary said she won't be needing any medical leeches because she's already got two ugly blood suckers that are permanently attached to her.