Reducing Pollution

There's no escape from those who are the conscience of the world.

1. Which do you think takes a bigger toll on the environment, owning a dog or owning an SUV?  He says its the dog. And then he says its the children. Then he backtracks when the specter of growing old alone looms. And here comes the final zinger: "But it does seem to me that environmentalism inevitably points toward a policy of extermination of pet dogs." Jebus.

2. Going vegan can save Britney Spears. So say PETA so you know it's true. It's the dairy products in the frapps that are to blame, in collusion with those micro parasites in the meat. (Not sure - have we ever seen Britney driving her Mercedes into a ditch in late night search for a porterhouse?) No opinion offered on the global price of intercontinental shipping of coffee beans

3. How to save the environment at lunch: A PB & J will  slow global warming, save water, reduce greenhouse gas emissions and prevent deforestation. Veering off-track for just a moment, if Al Gore invented the internet, does that mean he's responsible for all those outdated computers filling up the landfills?

(OMG! Al Gore does own the internet and he shrunk my font to punish me for making fun of him! Don't let this happen to you. Sorry, Al. I mean "Mr. President".)

4. In the biggest environmental bang for the buck so far, the desperate Clinton campaign corks up distinguished former president William Jefferson Clinton with a recycled Starbucks Frappacino cup into his PB&J hole, thereby reducing hot air emissions. Global temperatures drop by a full 2 degrees, polar ice caps are saved and everyone replaces pet dogs with baby polar bears on a woven hemp leash.

Comments

[pops]

Yes, but what if you teach the dog to recycle?

And BTW, as a matter of disclosure, I voted for Al Gore at my caucus on Saturday. Yes, I know he's not running but I voted for him anyway.

[dogette]

"baby polar bears on a woven hemp leash."

How the F do you come up with this shit?

Priceless.

[joated]

Jeez Louise! Between the EconLog freak and the PETA people....Holy Moly! Mother Moonbat save us!

[OTTami]

I'd just get confused and try to smoke the polar bear. It would be bad.

[Teresa]

The answer is... eliminate all life on the planet and thus the planet is saved. Simple right?

After all, once you've eliminated humans, cows, and dogs... those Polar bears are the next big polluters.

[Joan of Argghh!]

He--llooo? Anyone who's ever had cabbage for dinner will tell you that the Vegan way is the way of the Methane. And raw veggies are the worst.

Save the planet by eating more of the cows that art belching methane. The Vegans will be too weak to resist.

[LeeAnn]

And just how many pixels had to die to display this post?
(PS... put me down for one of those baby polar bears, m'kay?)

[LeeAnn]

Oh, for clarification's sake, by "put me down for..." I didn't mean "put me down" like "Scruffy's gone to live on a farm now, Timmy" down.
I'll be good. No more rug piddling.
Mostly.

[The Proprietor]

As a -- ahem -- professional environmentalist I can't begin to tell you how much this stuff gets me cheesed. a) it trivializes the entire topic and b) it ignores the fact that the laws of physics dictate that EVERY HUMAN ACTIVITY POLLUTES!!

(Or at least creates increased disorder in physical systems, which is the same thing.)

So it really is about priorities and creating systems that self-correct over time. The problem isn't that we are polluting, it's that we are polluting too much too quickly for the compensatory mechanisms to cope.

Your dog isn't the problem, nor are disposable diapers that you use on your kids for a few years out of your entire life, or your backyard grill, etc. etc. Sulfur dioxide from power plants is a problem, as are SUVs in aggregate, etc., but those mega-conditions are more controllable through regulation.

Never trust an economist on any topic, including economics.

I'm sorry. Did I take you too seriously? Let's talk Vera Bradley!