In the middle of a gloomy afternoon, the sun peeked out for just a minute and illuminated the driveway across the road from my office window. At that moment, a beautiful car, driven by what could only be a real estate lady, pulled up to the edge of the road and waited. Oh, beautiful if was: big and black with swooping lines and an abundance of chrome. It was a Buick Lucerne.
Although it was a lovely moment in which I was mesmerized by the shininess of it all, I don't think I could ever seriously see myself in this oldster's car. Just for fun, I goggled some reviews and found the most interesting car review ever. From a website called The Truth About Cars, it opens with:
"Electra Waggoner Biggs was born a Texas cattle and oil man’s daughter, but left the Lone Star State for Bryn Mawr, Columbia and the Sorbonne. Upon her return she became a revered sculptress, best known for her work “Into the Sunset,” memorializing cowboy actor Will Rogers. In 1959, the President of Buick (and Electra’s husband’s brother-in-law) named a flagship sedan after the middle aged Texan. Today's Buick Lucerne is named after a quaint Swiss tourist trap, with only a failed peasant’s revolt to its name. And there you have it: Buick has tossed away decades of brash Americana for subdued Euro-style. That's beyond stupid."
The review goes on with such amusing phrases as "as authoritative a brand statement as Mister T's mohawk" and "the Lucerne's interior is the Buick brand’s Bay of Pigs." I'm not in the market for a car but I think I'll read a few more reviews over there just for fun.
Also, I would like to state that I am all in favor of heated windsheild wiper fluid.