Today, darlings, is my birthday. Don't wait for me to tell you how old I am because I don't know. That's what happens when the years pile up - you lose track. I asked my friend from junior high school how old he was and he didn't know either. He knew by what means he could figure it out, but by the time he got done explaining it to me we were both worn out and didn't care anymore. Happy birthday to me.
Observe an actual artifact from my natal day. Even at age 1 Hour, I was wearing size XL. Imagine that they used to tie a bunch of little choking beads onto a newborn. And, excuse me, but ... blue? What the heck?