She's Having A Baby

I know someone who just found out that the baby she is carrying is a girl.  Yesterday  I asked her to predict the number of Barbies the child would have by age 5.

She said 2.

(pause while laughter dies down)

I gave her a chance to revise her guess, but she stuck with 2.  And then said "How many Barbies does one kid need?" as if need  was the determining  factor.  The poor thing then went on to say that there would be plenty of outfits that the two dolls could be changed into.

How can I relay to someone so disconnected from  reality that the number of Barbies will be endless? Furthermore, they will all be naked and their outfits clumped togehter in one big heap yet the child will be able to identify Malibu Barbie from Animal Lovin' Barbie even without clothes and accessories.  Some will have haircuts, some will be decorated with markers and some will have string, yarn and vaious other scraps tied around them.

There will be a small number of Skippers and Kellys and a few assorted Barbie animals although there will only be one Ken* and he will probably be headless.

I didn't have the heart to introduce the Barbie Talking Town House, the Barbie Dream House,  the Barbie Magi-Key  Beach House, the Barbie  Fold n' Fun House and the Barbie Family House.

* Everyone knows that the  play revolves around Barbie and the Ken is just more window dressing. But is Ken  a thing of the past?  It would appear that he has already been replaced by the nameless "Handsome Groom" doll. And really that's all you need  for a Barbie wedding - 17 assorted bridesmaids, a flower sheepdog, a ring-bearing horse and  one non-specific  "handsome groom".

Comments

[schmed]

Not to mention the pink Barbie Corvette (or Ferrari) which will emasculate even her Dear Olde Dad.

You remind me that when my Two Iddle Dirls were maxing out on the Barbie curve*, I came to the conclusion that Barbie was the WORST sort of role model: a naked, lypstyc |esby-un, continually engaged in unrestrained anthropomorphic cluster-relations with others of her species in full view of any innocent passers-by or observers.

*Culminating in two (2) 18"x18"x30" boxes FULL of said doll(s) and accoutrements, exclusive of some house-like contraption which required 8 elf-hours of labor to construct one long-passed yuletide ago.

PS - Y'know, if we air-dropped thousands of nekkid Barbies into the Izlamofacist enclaves, they might, quite possibly, spontaneously combust from a mix of lust, outrage and self-loathing.

[toxiclabrat]

while in Aruba, I noticed a little girl playing with her Barbie doll. She was 3 years old and her Barbie was naked. She took her to the pool everyday.
There was a small tube her young brother used to swim in, and when he wasn't in it, Barbie was.
It was so funny seeing Barbie in the tube moving in the water being pushed by the little girl. She took great care with her Barbie, and Barbie's hair was always combed perfectly..

[pops]

We have some friends who have three kids. The youngest just graduated from high school. He used to share a closet with his brother because his closet was used to store all the Legos, Barbies, and Barbie stuff. Now that he's gone our friends are considering using a backhoe to get rid of the Legos, Barbies, and Barbie stuff.

[lee]

oh.

[Mary Beth]

Really? Tiny tots, with their eyes all aglow -- they do barbie? For some reason I think more like the 8 year olds for the big B

[tina]

i hated dolls. loved my swingset, bike and books instead. Barbie is stupid.